It sure has been a long time since I wrote. I wake up so depressed each day due to the space I am in, without a home of my own, and in serious pain in my neck, back, and entire body. Some days it is such a challenge to get out the door, but once I do, it helps. It helps to get out of this room, so small I do not even have a dresser, along with the large desk in the corner along with my brothers computer, which he still uses. Sometimes it's depressing and I wonder what I did so wrong to get here? It makes me feel as if I am being punished for something I did wrong, having to suffer in pain as this for most of my life, and struggling financially for the last ten years of my life, on and off, and not having a home of my own any longer. A home, which I want so much now, a home filled with loved ones in it, with my stuff, and my furniture! A home I can still have holidays in, Christmas, New Year's, etc. A home to celebrate life in!
Today I feel so much pain, have so many regrets, and feel I did so much wrong, finding it really hard to accept, release and let go, and surrender. So this is what I am working on, being aware of the need to accept the past, and asking my Angels, God, Spirit Guides, etc., to help me with this. I know I can not do this alone, I know this has been hard for me, but I will do it. I will never give up, not on this, or on having the dream home I want on the water filled with loved ones in it.
I find it very hard to write when I am feeling low, and depressed. I have been here for five months, and don't know how I will be able to move on. I do have alternative ways to make an income, and I wrote a few children's books over a year ago, but want to get them illustrated and published now. I am starting to share them with others, with my family, children and friends. This is a start to get the ball rolling, to tell the Universe, I am ready for this to happen, show me the way. Send me people on my path to help me along, to help me accomplish my dream! Send me love and light in healing my body, so I can accomplish my current goals.
Thank you, Amen
