So, it's another holiday summer weekend, and I find myself all alone!! All alone after being born into a huge family, and me having three of my own, always with family around me.
Now, it is a different time, different place, one of feeling alone and lonely every morning I awake, and I hate it! I even take the time to do some work I have learned to do, to try to heal that pain, and shift it to the light, but I still wake up so sad. I wish my life was so different, I don't know how it all even happened, when I look back. It seems so far away, but comforting to be with my ex's family after all these years. We have reunited and I am so grateful they have allowed me back in, but I was still all alone on this holiday. Then I contemplate my life, how the Universe released the last few people in my life that had a different energy going on. Yes, this is good, it means growth for me, but it also means being alone for now on holiday's. My family is all split up now, everyone wanting to do their own thing, and no one in my family seems to want me in their life anymore, except my two brothers and his wife! I understand my energy has shifted, and the negative has to leave, but it still makes me sad when I am alone on a weekend where we should be happy, bonding, and celebrating with loved ones!!
I only need my children to be there on special occasions, but they too are busy making plans with their friends, and my daughter is busy with her boyfriend's family this weekend. My other daughter who just moved in with her Aunt, could come see me, or invite me there, but has no desire to see me, and that breaks my heart. She has gone into a funk, and has been made at me on and off the last few weeks, and when she is off she ignores me! She ignores my text's until she is ready to talk, and that can be up to two weeks, now, as this last spell was. Family doesn't treat each other this way, when you are a close knit family, you talk and work it out. You don't hold grudges, or punish someone because you are made at them! This is what she does, and it upsets me she has so much pain and anger still in her heart that she needs to let go. Talking to someone about her issues with me may surely hope, and that is what I am praying for, as I also pray for our relationship to heal, and her come back to love!
So, I had no plans this weekend, and no one even invited me to a BBQ! Okay Universe, where are the like minded people I need to meet and fall in Love with? I did meet a new family I am now friends with, and met them on the beach this weekend. They are so wonderful, so loving and kind, and have a two year old daughter! I met them in the parking lot of a food store down here about a month ago, we connected instantly, and she reached out to me a few weeks later. We have so much in common as she had Lyme, and has healed herself with natural remedies! There are NO coincidences here, only synchronicities!! Amen! She has already helped me so much with nutrition and Lyme, and I am so grateful! He is a healer, a Major healer who channels Archangel Raphael!! And here, another synchronicity, as I have been praying to Raphael because he is the healer, and I need to be healed so!! He even has out of body experiences, and we are all on the same path with spirituality, healing, and helping others along our path!!
Another day, no sunshine today, a day to stay in and write, and work on the children's book I am illustrating, "Faith in Angels"! Can't wait to get it done and out there!
Love and Blessings to all, we can always turn to gratitude to help that shift, and find loved ones to be around, as much as you need to! But, if you are fortunate enough to have loved ones around all the time, then you must take time to be alone, to ground, breathe, relax, and dream, and to hear your inner guide who is always there to guide you!
