Wow, truly can not believe how fast time goes, although they say time does not exist!
When you understand that you are truly enlightened!
I have been learning so much being here, in Hoboken. Realizing so much about myself, my life, trying to find answers to all the why questions I ask on a daily basis!
Why do I have to be alone now?
Why did I have to get a divorce?
Why couldn't we work it out?
Why do I have to live each day without my family around?
What the hell are we truly here for?
Why do/did so many of us have to suffer so much??
Why, why, why??
Will I ever get answers? They say you will if you ask, or some say, no, you will never get those answers.
I have to believe I will, and have to understand acceptance. Accepting that so much shit happened to me, and my children, and to forgive. Forgive myself, and him, for the past shit. Accepting it's over, the only thing I can to now is be the best person I can be, today, now.
To love one another, whoever that may be, to honor one another as I do myself, and to connect! Connnect, connect, connect. For me, yes, I need it lots! But not like most people, the ones that can never be alone, and never are alone. I love my alone time, it's where I recharge. But, I have too much alone time, where I get sad and lonely being alone, with no one to connect with. Even friends don't call and ask me to do things with them, ever. So you could say I don't have friends like that! Only the kind you talk to on the phone. Just great, and just sad, both at the same time!
So, then, where is everyone? Where are all of my connections? My loved ones who want to be around me, and want me in their world, their reality? Family, anyone?
Guess not, as they are very few, even my children rarely wanting to see me. Ya, life is just great!
That is why I wake up sick of everything, sick of this existence, see it as not very fun. Yes, I am always working on some projects, and I am now, but that's not enough to love my life. To love being here, and being blissfully happy everyday. That is what I am looking for. Lisa figured it out, currently lives in Hawaii, and says we can all live in bliss, now that we have ascended.
Well, I am waiting, working on it purging ahead, and staying as positive as can be, as I know this is the answer. That is the key, to keep your energy and vibration as high as you can each and every day! That is why I am writing a book, 30 days, 30 ways to self love!!
Namaste, blessings to all! May all beings be free of pain and suffering!
