Okay, so it's a New Year. Yes, I am still here at my brother's home, it's been five months now. I have finally accepted where I am, and am okay with it. I know it is temporary, and have to sit tight until some money comes in and I can move out. My goal now is to move back up North to be near my kids. I will love to have a two or even three bedroom home, just in case one of my children wants to move out of their Dad's and live with me. My daughter and son have said how difficult it is there, their Dad is pretty unhealthy, depressed and angry, not very good energy to be around. This saddens me, as I will always care about him, I loved him very much, and I want to see him happy, strong, and healthy. For my children to see him going through this is very sad as well, I am sure it wears heavy on their hearts. He did hurt us all very badly by taking them away from me when we were divorced, fighting for custody and getting away with it, but this is a sad way to suffer. He even has a new daughter of almost three years to care for, and needs to be happy and healthy for her as well. I have prayed about this so much, and asked God and the Universe, if I am meant to talk to him to try to help him, let me know, show me the way. I have wanted to talk to him for months, but it's hard to accomplish. He is home during the day, but so are my children, and if I knocked on the door to talk to him, they wouldn't let me in, I am sure. They think I should forget about trying to talk to him, that he still hates me. That alone shows he did not let go, because love and hate are on the same coin, just a different side of that coin. So, if it is meant to be, divine intervention is necessary! I haven't seen him since my son's High School graduation, and that was four years ago. It would be very weird and uncomfortable for sure, but I still think it is time. I need to have closure with him in a nice, calm way, not like the way he treated me in Cynthia Johnson's office when I was fighting to get my kids back. So much pain and heartbreak I have been through because of him, and my kids have been through as well. When I think of this it makes me sick, how he could have done this to us, how the courts were so corrupt and allowed this to happen! Such injustice, gets me sick.
I feel so badly that I did not keep any of the homes I owned, and stayed there. I have no idea what I was thinking back then, making such poor decisions, leaving me alone with nothing at all now. No home of my own, no yard of my own, nothing left. I wish I kept one of the homes I owned years ago. I have forgotten most of the time, but in times like this when my kids need me and a home, I feel badly I couldn't help them yet. But, I will. I have been putting out into the Universe a way to get a place for me and my children. And now, I have it now. A nice place with three bedrooms and a basement, new kitchen, back deck with an awesome yard that has a stream behind it, a nice front porch, filled with children in it! My dreams of making millions to make my life simple, fun and easy, and give to my children and my family. I am free, I am happy, I am Blessed, I am Grateful.
I have been remembering to be grateful a lot lately, and it's helped. There is so much to be grateful for for all of us, it's about focusing on this, not lack, and more wonderful things come to you, because of this shift in focus. Try it, see if it works, and when it does, remember to thank God and the Universe! That's the flow, the flow of love and positive energy. Always keep the valve of love open, always focus on the good in any situation, be grateful, and it will work out for the better. By focusing on what makes us feel good, we stay in that stream of love, and that is all we will see. We will not line up with the negative, the complaining, the drama, because our vibration and frequency is on another level, one of pure Love! Doesn't it make sense? Focus on how you want to feel, which is good, and then think thoughts that make you feel good, not things that get you angry, pissed, or upset! So easy, so simple, but needs to be done to more of us!
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