Releasing Tears before I Move

Woke up so upset the other day, crying out of nowhere, it caught me totally by surprise. I cried and cried, feeling sad and scared.  Scared of what?  Scared of moving on, moving ahead to a new life again.  I moved seven times last year, and it was very upsetting and unsettling.  When you move, you feel out of your element, confused about everything, because nothing is the same, for your living space at least.  I realized the tears were letting go of the past, my past life as a wife and Mother, and moving onto a new life for myself.  A life for myself that I don't care about because all I want to do is to be a Mother.  Maybe I should have followed through about being a Foster Parent when I thought of it years ago.  But, I was worried about my pain, how can I care for a child all day, every day, being in pain like that?  So, I decided to focus on getting healthy, finding my place here on earth and following my life purpose.
The tears were tears of sadness realizing I could not afford a place up North for me and my children,  I could only afford a one bedroom, and that makes me feel a lack, lack of not being able to help them, not being able to provide for them when they need me to.  My oldest daughter doesn't care and said she may leave to go away to school anyway, and my son keeps telling me he wants to get his own place.  So, I realized I didn't want to live up there alone again as I did last winter because I was so sad and lonely all the time.  
Now I will be moving down the shore, to the beach where people go all summer for vacation.   I will be living there all year, so it will be home for me.  But I don't want a new home, a new area to get use to.  At least up North is home, I have lived there over thirty years.  And, where I am now at my brothers is home, I grew up here.  The beach is totally a new place to live.  Yes, I have been there many times, but never lived there.  Yes, it probably is good that it is a new town, because it will be a new life, a new start for my on my own.  But, like I said, I cried for the life I could have had, the life I lost and wanted back, my family.  I will always feel that loss after loosing custody of my children because of my crazy ex husband, all so he didn't have to pay child support, not because he wanted his children so badly.  And now he has so many issues, the children barely want to have a relationship with him.  It is so very sad, they have no Dad, just me and their Aunts and Uncles, but they have plenty of them!  And tons of cousins as well.
So, I am releasing the old, cleansing those emotions that no longer serve me, and moving ahead.  I am proud of myself for always striving for more, for better, what's the sense of living if we can't be happy?  I will purge ahead until I am happy, content and at peace, whatever it takes.  And for now, it takes me hitting the beach, well not only hitting it, but actually living there! Wow, only two weeks left, count down for sure!! <3

Turning to Gratitude to Shift Your Energy

Gratitude, what a wonderful thing!  I have been hearing this word for years in the Spiritual Community, turn to gratitude.  And finally now, I see how amazing it works!  We can’t think abundance and lack at the same time, so when focused on abundance, that is what we manifest!  Gratitude is such a simple, easy thing to do when you are sad and low and need a lift, it is just a shift in focus.  We all have things to be grateful for, and when we turn to gratitude, only more pours out of us.  All we have to do is remember, remember to do this daily.

What can you be grateful for today? What do you have in your life that puts a smile to your face when you see it or think of it?  Be careful, once you start, you can never stop!  We seem to take so much for granted, just keeping on each day.  But, when we are sad, turning to gratitude truly makes us remember what we have, and what we can be grateful for here on this earth now.  It is a total shift in consciousness, which immediately shifts your energy and vibration, attracting more loving, positive situations.  We need to be careful what we focus on, because, what we think we get!  Yes, the power of attraction, and be grateful for all we have.  

I always start with my three children, then it spreads throughout my entire family, and even to my ex and his family that was once mine for over twenty five years.  Then I go to the animals I have, or had, and how much we loved each other.  Then I realize how much love and support I have in my life now, and I am grateful for that.  I do not take the people around me for granted, as I have lived alone without my family for awhile, and it still saddens me.  Now when I am with my friends and family for whatever reason, I am very grateful for the moment, and express this to them as well.  The time I spend with my children, my nieces, my nephews, and especially great nephews, are such precious times to me now, forever grateful for!  Grateful that they love spending time with me as well!  It is amazing how one person can touch a child’s life with love!

Grateful for Mother Gaia, for all the animals, trees, flowers, streams, etc. that she has to offer us.  I truly love nature, like most of us do.  There is so much to be grateful for out there!  To be able to lay on the beach, put my feet in the sand, gratitude.  To be able to sit under a tree, in the woods, near a lake, gratitude.  To watch the birds and the animals play, gratitude.  To see the sunset, the sunrise, gratitude.  To be kissed by my brothers dog, gratitude!

So, sit down, breathe, relax, and start your day by thinking of what you can be grateful for, and you may see a smile on your face for the entire day!  When we are in a state of gratitude, Source energy just flows through us, bringing to us our desires.  We attract what we think, and by being grateful, God and the Universe shows us more of it flowing into our lives.  Keep that stream open, by focusing on what we are grateful for, and I promise you, that stream will never stop!

I have been more aware and conscious of focusing on gratitude, what I can be grateful for, and I feel it has contributed to my shift in energy.  Great things are coming my way, finally, and I am forever GRATEFUL! Amen!

Feeling so Much Better Now

So many wonderful things are finally happening now for me!  I am so grateful, truly grateful, to be moving on to another chapter of my life.  I have been without my own home for about ten months now, so I am truly excited.  A comforting feeling, knowing I will be safe and have my own home.  There is something to be said for having your own place, your own space, with all of your things around you that comfort you.  Possession, ours, how these things seem to identify who we are.  As I was in the basement the other day, I saw all my furniture down there and told it that we were going to have a new home soon!  It just came out of nowhere, just seemed like the thing to do.  Actually, everything does have energy, and if we are nicer to our things it matters, somehow!  
So, now I know I definitely have a place, my nieces fiance's place down the shore!  Am I happy? Hell ya!  Is it hard to believe?  Totally, can't imagine being down the shore all summer, like actually living there.  I have been traveling to the beach my entire life.  My father would take us, and when I was twelve years old, my girlfriend's sister use to take us to the beach all the time.  I grew up being only a half hour from the beach, and once we all drove, we hit the beach anytime we could!  Since I have been living up North, I have been driving down the shore most weekends in the summer, as the ocean calls me.  When I was first divorced and my ex had our children on a Sunday, I would drive down alone, and it would help heal me.  So, this summer will be a totally different summer for me, it surely will be fun and busy.  I am hoping I will get many visitors all summer long, sleeping over, taking it easy down the shore.  
Wow, sounds so good to me now.  I can't believe in two weeks my entire life is going to change again, this time for the better.  Then I will be able to shine my light so bright, like I am telling everyone else to do!  It is time, the time is now, to dream great dreams and make them come true.  The manifestation era.  Oneness, the ascension, creating Heave on Earth, so much is happening on our earth now, it is truly an exciting time to be here, one we all chose to do regardless if we remember or not.  
We are all starting to remember, and will remember more and more each day.  We will remember the love that we all truly are, and the connection we all have to one another, the oneness inside us all.  I finally have broken through, a total shift in energy, and am able at least to get my own place.  And my children's book, "Faith in Angels", is going to be illustrated next week, I am so excited this is becoming a reality!  I reconnected to one of my childhood friends, who happens to have a daughter just starting art school.  We got in touch, and she is going to help me illustrate it!  So pshyched! 

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So, I have two weeks to get my shit together, and get stuff done, while I am still here.  I also need to organize my stuff in the basement to see what I can leave here.  I don't want to take everything, only the things I need.  I am not looking forward to the packing, moving and unpacking, it is so draining and tough on my body.  I can't even get motivated to pack a thing, so tired of doing this so many times, I am putting it off! 
So, what's the conclusion?  What is this self love thing?  Now that I am alone without my children, obviously my priorities have changed as they are not around to care for anymore.  It is truly sad when they grow up, but I can say I am handling it much better this winter than I did last.  Last winter was so sad for me, crying all the time, but I felt the same way here at my brothers home for months as well.  Now living with someone, had made me realize I want to live alone.  I can run around in my underwear if I want to, I can have people over anytime, sleep over, etc.  Yes, alone, nice.  I always said living alone can be nice as long as you have a strong support system, and you have a lot of loved ones around to hang out with.  
Blessings of Love and Light, Namaste!