Don't even know where to start. Along with waking up so depressed that when I open my eyes, I close them quickly to see if the scene changes to where I am, with all this clutter around me. A challenge for sure. I awake to ugly, huge bar lights that say Michelob and such, along with souvenirs of the Yankees, etc., and pictures of them on the wall! All of that clutter is hard for me to be around, it's not good energy for me, it just seems to bother me. Just like when I slept at my sister in laws home with the two deer head over me, and prevents me from sleeping the entire night! This is all being sensitive to energy, which I had no idea of a year ago. This energy thing is new for me, us being energy, how energy affects us, low vibrations, high vibrations, etc. That is why I would feel depleted after coming home from the mall, my energy being zapped from me. Now I do focus on some white light around me, or gold, or a purple flame in my heart beating out. Any of these do help me when I am with large crowds. Even when I attend spiritual events, I would wake up in so much more pain, from the energy around. And now I have just learned to sweep the energy off me when I attend events like this. Such a great tool to know that no one suggested to do when I would explain the pain I was in from such an event. Now I know, and will use it every time.
This weekend was awesome for me, I was a healer at one of my first mind, body, soul expos. I have read Oracle Cards at a few events, but haven't put my energy work out there yet. So, I did Sunday. With much preparing, running all the way to Long Beach Island to borrow a massage table from a friend, and coming up with flyers, etc., it was all worth it. Although the entire fair was really quiet and many of us did not even have one client, it was still a wonderful day connecting with other healers who I fell in love with. Didn't I think that the other healers would be so compassionate and filled with love, doing the work they are doing? No, completely forgot about that! So, I met a few other women I will stay connected to, and may even do some work together with one of them to help heal the children in low income areas, something I have been wanting to do for awhile.
Along with meeting beautiful, awakened souls, comes much wisdom that I got to take home. Like being soft on myself, trusting in Source, knowing it will all be fine. Remembering to let go and surrender, for that is when I can allow new to flow, by releasing the old. What a concept I never even thought about in that way, and it makes so much sense to me.
My new friend also came all the way from Long Branch, just to see me, he told me. Wow, pretty nice to drive that far just to come talk to me on a Sunday. So, as I was sitting in the hall, he appeared. He told me that Spirit chose me for him to help guide, if I was interested. Hell, yah! Are you kidding? Are you telling me Source has sent someone to help guide me here, but someone who is physically near me, not just a support on the internet. He is a healer, and has worked with John Of God, who is an exceptional healer, and very well known. He kept saying that I had no idea how much my life was going to change, if I choose to, because we all have free will. Well, if you know me, you know this has been all I have focused on for the last few years, my Spiritual growth, so I will welcome him with open arms. He will be able to teach me many things, and I am surely excited about this! I met him at a new place I found to go to for sound healing, listening to the Crystal Bowls, and the Gongs. The second time I was there, he came up to me to say hello, and then told me Spirit picked me out of everyone for him to connect to. And connect he did! We spoke only briefly the first time, but had no idea what he was all about, until he showed up at the event on Sunday to talk to me.
Last night I saw him again, at the Crystal Bowl Healing, and we spoke more about what was ahead for me, how my life is going to change tremendously, if I allow it. He told me I was a healer, and this was new for me. Being a psychology major, always wanting to become a Child Therapist, I always leaned more to therapy work, and that is why I decided to do Spiritual Life Coaching work. I did take the Reiki Certification a few years ago, but didn't know if I was "good" at it or not, and never getting it out there to experience on others and to create financial abundance. But, this has been one of my goals the entire year, to get out of the nanny work I do, which is so draining for me now, and turn my life into one of helping others grow and heal spiritually. If I am meant to help heal others through Energy Healing, I am thrilled, as this will be an exciting new venture for me. After going to a Reiki Healer last year, and experiencing her talking to someone else the entire time for two hours, made me realize that I do have an opportunity in this field. Rule number one in healing is intention, love, thoughts and focus. It is important to set an intention to help heal that person, and put your total focus on healing them, sending them love, etc. This woman talked about life stuff, and even issues she was having with the person who took me there. I was very surprised at this during my session, and really wanted to explain how distracting this was for me, as I was trying to focus on the white light to help facilitate a healing within me, but at the time did not have enough boundaries set and allowed it. Now I know better, always speak your truth, especially when you are paying someone to help you. She spent two hours on me with her pendulum over me, and kept saying how my Chakras were still blocked. When I awoke the next day I realized, if she could do this for a living, and have her own office space, then so can I. I wouldn't talk at all, I would focus love and light on that person the entire time.
See, always those feelings of not being worthy, not good enough. I always felt to do spiritual work you had to be perfect, and what I have seen the past year with my mentors, is none of them are perfect, they still have issues, pain, they contradict themselves at times, but they are still out there shining the light to help empower others anyway. This has helped me realize I do not have to wait any longer to help others in this way, although I still have challenges, I can still help others shine their light. This is a tremendous awakening for me, so now, I am on my way to a new life.
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