My Session with Pamela Aaralyn

So many changes going on as usual.  I had a Skype session with Pamela Aaralyn the other night, and I feel a shift in my thinking already.  She is a new Spiritual Teacher I found through my Soul Family on Facebook.  She is simply amazing.  

As the session started, I asked her where should I start?  And she asked me back, where do you want to start?  I broke down in tears, explained my divorce, the loss of my children, my children moving out, and moving all around the past year.  

Despair, futility, these were the emotions she explained to me that I was feeling.  Then she taught me a process to go through in changing this "core belief".  This is a big word in the Spiritual community, and switching this belief to feelings I want to feel.  Hope, peace and love, are the feelings that came to me when I asked what the opposite of despair is to me.  She explained that once I change this core belief within, I will shift my vibration, and everything will change for me.  Wow, if it would be that easy.  I told her how many times I have worked on healing my inner child last year, over 100 times.  But, she asked me if I asked my inner child what she wanted to feel instead?  After thinking about it, I told her no, I was never taught that.  The process I was taught was to hold and comfort the child, and do what feels right which was taking her away on a magic carpet to a loving, beautiful, peaceful place.  But, I never did ask her how she would rather "feel".  Ah, now I know, and sure, I can do this.  I have no problem doing the work, sometimes I think I do it too much.  

I cried very much through the session, but we got through many things.  She answered questions about my pain, being from all the emotions I have.  She explained that I should reach out to others when I need to, not always acting so strong all the time.  I explained that at times it's hard to be honest, as it seems like no one knows what to say or do, or almost doesn't even want to know, not knowing how to handle it.  At times, I do not even know how to handle "it", meaning my life, and yes, it's difficult.  I want it to all end, to all go away, and I want to wake up to a place of love and comfort.  A place I feel loved and comforted and safe all the time!  
She gave me many tools to start working on, back to work again.  It seems I am always working on myself, how to heal, how to feel better, crying over the pain of loss and loneliness I feel, it's so very draining.  And, going through it all alone doesn't help, without loved ones around, aiding in my comfort.  It is time I feel loved, loved by myself for all the mistakes I have made, and hugged and comforted by others.  
Once I settle down, I will work on a process to surrender my emotions, and another process to integrate the feelings of despair that I feel.