July Fourth, with no where to go!

So, it's another holiday summer weekend, and I find myself all alone!! All alone after being born into a huge family, and me having three of my own, always with family around me.
Now, it is a different time, different place, one of feeling alone and lonely every morning I awake, and I hate it!  I even take the time to do some work I have learned to do, to try to heal that pain, and shift it to the light, but I still wake up so sad.  I wish my life was so different, I don't know how it all even happened, when I look back.  It seems so far away, but comforting to be with my ex's family after all these years.  We have reunited and I am so grateful they have allowed me back in, but I was still all alone on this holiday.  Then I contemplate my life, how the Universe released the last few people in my life that had a different energy going on.  Yes, this is good, it means growth for me, but it also means being alone for now on holiday's.  My family is all split up now, everyone wanting to do their own thing, and no one in my family seems to want me in their life anymore, except my two brothers and his wife!  I understand my energy has shifted, and the negative has to leave, but it still makes me sad when I am alone on a weekend where we should be happy, bonding, and celebrating with loved ones!!
I only need my children to be there on special occasions, but they too are busy making plans with their friends, and my daughter is busy with her boyfriend's family this weekend.  My other daughter who just moved in with her Aunt, could come see me, or invite me there, but has no desire to see me, and that breaks my heart.  She has gone into a funk, and has been made at me on and off the last few weeks, and when she is off she ignores me!  She ignores my text's until she is ready to talk, and that can be up to two weeks, now, as this last spell was.  Family doesn't treat each other this way, when you are a close knit family, you talk and work it out.  You don't hold grudges, or punish someone because you are made at them!  This is what she does, and it upsets me she has so much pain and anger still in her heart that she needs to let go.  Talking to someone about her issues with me may surely hope, and that is what I am praying for, as I also pray for our relationship to heal, and her come back to love!
So, I had no plans this weekend, and no one even invited me to a BBQ! Okay Universe, where are the like minded people I need to meet and fall in Love with?  I did meet a new family I am now friends with, and met them on the beach this weekend.  They are so wonderful, so loving and kind, and have a two year old daughter! I met them in the parking lot of a food store down here about a month ago, we connected instantly, and she reached out to me a few weeks later.  We have so much in common as she had Lyme, and has healed herself with natural remedies!  There are NO coincidences here, only synchronicities!! Amen!  She has already helped me so much with nutrition and Lyme, and I am so grateful!  He is a healer, a Major healer who channels Archangel Raphael!! And here, another synchronicity, as I have been praying to Raphael because he is the healer, and I need to be healed so!! He even has out of body experiences, and we are all on the same path with spirituality, healing, and helping others along our path!!
Another day, no sunshine today, a day to stay in and write, and work on the children's book I am illustrating, "Faith in Angels"! Can't wait to get it done and out there!
Love and Blessings to all, we can always turn to gratitude to help that shift, and find loved ones to be around, as much as you need to!  But, if you are fortunate enough to have loved ones around all the time, then you must take time to be alone, to ground, breathe, relax, and dream, and to hear your inner guide who is always there to guide you!

My Niece's Wedding Day!!

It finally came, my nieces day! What a wonderful, beautiful time we all had.  It all started Friday morning at 8:30 when I got to her home to watch the four boys!  Two of the boys were hers, and the other two were her sisters.  The boys were all on their games when I got there.  After they got bored, I suggested going outside to play anything, and I barely could get them out!! We were forced outside when the weather was nice, and I think it was great to make us go outside and play.  Be in Love, be in nature, in the grass, with the trees, surrounded by the beautiful flowers, birds, squirrels, and all that nature has to offer.   No, they wanted to stay in and play those games that I do not like at all.   It's all about killing, and we wonder why people in the world kill each other, we only have games promoting it!!
Anyway, back to the wedding!  My niece got back and didn't want me to see her, thinking it was bad luck.  I assured her it was only for the husband!  My brother and sister in law came about 12:00 with food for lunch, I ate quick and ran out.  The excitement was everywhere, the energy was amazing, I was so psyched and excited for this to finally happen!
I ran home and got dressed.  I got to the Church fifteen minutes early, and the Church was so very small and cozy.  My niece looked absolutely beautiful, and her honey looked awesome as well, so very happy with smiles on their faces the entire time!  The mass was nice, my daughter and son met me there.  I was glad they came so I wasn't alone in the Church, and wanted them to see it as well.
After the Ceremony, we went back to my house and I changed and my daughter helped with my make up.  Off to the Reception we went, and my other daughter was on her way with her boyfriend/fiance.  This is the first time my family is meeting my daughter's boyfriend, and I have bragged all about him because he is a dog trainer and works with Ceaser Millan, who has a television show on dog training.  She truly has been blessed and manifested the man of her dreams.  They are both so much alike, love the dogs, and now she helps him run his dog training business.  I love him, he's a great, respectable, kind man, and always is trying to uplift my daughter and give her confidence to do anything she wants to do.
The cocktail hour was nice, but there wasn't many tables to sit and eat at, so we all stood.  When my daughter arrived, she was nervous to introduce her boyfriend to my family, so I told her I would, not worries.  We introduced him to my family, most of my brothers were quiet except one, who was talking to him.  
The Reception started, and went by so fast, I barely remember all that happened.  I sat next to my son and daughter, who were both so happy.  It was beautiful to see my daughter so happy in love with her man, it's the first major event we have had as a family in a long time.  To see her smiling, and laughing, with her boyfriend all night was so beautiful and comforting, leaving some love in my heart as well.  And my other daughter sat near them on the  other side, and enjoyed in their company and laughter all night. My son had a great time, and this is his first family event that he is over 21 and can legally drink!  And he did!  He had a smile on his face all night as well, and hung out with my daughters, and talked a lot to his cousin who is only a few years older than him. 
 I danced more than my daughters, and had a great time with my great nephews as well.  I wanted to slow dance with the Groom, but totally forgot as I didn't see him on the dance floor at all.  I did see my niece, the bride, and danced with her.  The Groom's little niece of three years old, grabbed my hands on the dance floor and started to dance with me, it was so sweet!  The boys were having fun running around and dancing all night.  Some of my family just sat, and barely got up.  Some people have that negative vibe going on, and are in a different space than me, and one of my brothers was a no show!! I had a feeling he forgot, and sure enough, he did!  He's a single guy, and it could be easy to forget unless you see it on your calendar somewhere, they aren't into weddings like us woman!
The night ended, which was sad, and I got pictures of my family at the end, but forgot to get some with the Bride and Groom!  After I said goodbye to my children, I stayed until the ending, helping with nothing, saying goodbye to all!  My niece decided to give me a lantern which was part of her centerpiece.  I was thrilled to have something from her Wedding to remember her day by!! 
When I arrived home, and changed, I sat down, too wired to go asleep.  I was so grateful for the evening, and the love, I wrote a letter to my children expressing how blessed I am to have them in my life and how much I love them.  I finally went to bed, but woke at 5:00 am, and couldn't go back to sleep.  

Releasing Tears before I Move

Woke up so upset the other day, crying out of nowhere, it caught me totally by surprise. I cried and cried, feeling sad and scared.  Scared of what?  Scared of moving on, moving ahead to a new life again.  I moved seven times last year, and it was very upsetting and unsettling.  When you move, you feel out of your element, confused about everything, because nothing is the same, for your living space at least.  I realized the tears were letting go of the past, my past life as a wife and Mother, and moving onto a new life for myself.  A life for myself that I don't care about because all I want to do is to be a Mother.  Maybe I should have followed through about being a Foster Parent when I thought of it years ago.  But, I was worried about my pain, how can I care for a child all day, every day, being in pain like that?  So, I decided to focus on getting healthy, finding my place here on earth and following my life purpose.
The tears were tears of sadness realizing I could not afford a place up North for me and my children,  I could only afford a one bedroom, and that makes me feel a lack, lack of not being able to help them, not being able to provide for them when they need me to.  My oldest daughter doesn't care and said she may leave to go away to school anyway, and my son keeps telling me he wants to get his own place.  So, I realized I didn't want to live up there alone again as I did last winter because I was so sad and lonely all the time.  
Now I will be moving down the shore, to the beach where people go all summer for vacation.   I will be living there all year, so it will be home for me.  But I don't want a new home, a new area to get use to.  At least up North is home, I have lived there over thirty years.  And, where I am now at my brothers is home, I grew up here.  The beach is totally a new place to live.  Yes, I have been there many times, but never lived there.  Yes, it probably is good that it is a new town, because it will be a new life, a new start for my on my own.  But, like I said, I cried for the life I could have had, the life I lost and wanted back, my family.  I will always feel that loss after loosing custody of my children because of my crazy ex husband, all so he didn't have to pay child support, not because he wanted his children so badly.  And now he has so many issues, the children barely want to have a relationship with him.  It is so very sad, they have no Dad, just me and their Aunts and Uncles, but they have plenty of them!  And tons of cousins as well.
So, I am releasing the old, cleansing those emotions that no longer serve me, and moving ahead.  I am proud of myself for always striving for more, for better, what's the sense of living if we can't be happy?  I will purge ahead until I am happy, content and at peace, whatever it takes.  And for now, it takes me hitting the beach, well not only hitting it, but actually living there! Wow, only two weeks left, count down for sure!! <3

Turning to Gratitude to Shift Your Energy

Gratitude, what a wonderful thing!  I have been hearing this word for years in the Spiritual Community, turn to gratitude.  And finally now, I see how amazing it works!  We can’t think abundance and lack at the same time, so when focused on abundance, that is what we manifest!  Gratitude is such a simple, easy thing to do when you are sad and low and need a lift, it is just a shift in focus.  We all have things to be grateful for, and when we turn to gratitude, only more pours out of us.  All we have to do is remember, remember to do this daily.

What can you be grateful for today? What do you have in your life that puts a smile to your face when you see it or think of it?  Be careful, once you start, you can never stop!  We seem to take so much for granted, just keeping on each day.  But, when we are sad, turning to gratitude truly makes us remember what we have, and what we can be grateful for here on this earth now.  It is a total shift in consciousness, which immediately shifts your energy and vibration, attracting more loving, positive situations.  We need to be careful what we focus on, because, what we think we get!  Yes, the power of attraction, and be grateful for all we have.  

I always start with my three children, then it spreads throughout my entire family, and even to my ex and his family that was once mine for over twenty five years.  Then I go to the animals I have, or had, and how much we loved each other.  Then I realize how much love and support I have in my life now, and I am grateful for that.  I do not take the people around me for granted, as I have lived alone without my family for awhile, and it still saddens me.  Now when I am with my friends and family for whatever reason, I am very grateful for the moment, and express this to them as well.  The time I spend with my children, my nieces, my nephews, and especially great nephews, are such precious times to me now, forever grateful for!  Grateful that they love spending time with me as well!  It is amazing how one person can touch a child’s life with love!

Grateful for Mother Gaia, for all the animals, trees, flowers, streams, etc. that she has to offer us.  I truly love nature, like most of us do.  There is so much to be grateful for out there!  To be able to lay on the beach, put my feet in the sand, gratitude.  To be able to sit under a tree, in the woods, near a lake, gratitude.  To watch the birds and the animals play, gratitude.  To see the sunset, the sunrise, gratitude.  To be kissed by my brothers dog, gratitude!

So, sit down, breathe, relax, and start your day by thinking of what you can be grateful for, and you may see a smile on your face for the entire day!  When we are in a state of gratitude, Source energy just flows through us, bringing to us our desires.  We attract what we think, and by being grateful, God and the Universe shows us more of it flowing into our lives.  Keep that stream open, by focusing on what we are grateful for, and I promise you, that stream will never stop!

I have been more aware and conscious of focusing on gratitude, what I can be grateful for, and I feel it has contributed to my shift in energy.  Great things are coming my way, finally, and I am forever GRATEFUL! Amen!

Feeling so Much Better Now

So many wonderful things are finally happening now for me!  I am so grateful, truly grateful, to be moving on to another chapter of my life.  I have been without my own home for about ten months now, so I am truly excited.  A comforting feeling, knowing I will be safe and have my own home.  There is something to be said for having your own place, your own space, with all of your things around you that comfort you.  Possession, ours, how these things seem to identify who we are.  As I was in the basement the other day, I saw all my furniture down there and told it that we were going to have a new home soon!  It just came out of nowhere, just seemed like the thing to do.  Actually, everything does have energy, and if we are nicer to our things it matters, somehow!  
So, now I know I definitely have a place, my nieces fiance's place down the shore!  Am I happy? Hell ya!  Is it hard to believe?  Totally, can't imagine being down the shore all summer, like actually living there.  I have been traveling to the beach my entire life.  My father would take us, and when I was twelve years old, my girlfriend's sister use to take us to the beach all the time.  I grew up being only a half hour from the beach, and once we all drove, we hit the beach anytime we could!  Since I have been living up North, I have been driving down the shore most weekends in the summer, as the ocean calls me.  When I was first divorced and my ex had our children on a Sunday, I would drive down alone, and it would help heal me.  So, this summer will be a totally different summer for me, it surely will be fun and busy.  I am hoping I will get many visitors all summer long, sleeping over, taking it easy down the shore.  
Wow, sounds so good to me now.  I can't believe in two weeks my entire life is going to change again, this time for the better.  Then I will be able to shine my light so bright, like I am telling everyone else to do!  It is time, the time is now, to dream great dreams and make them come true.  The manifestation era.  Oneness, the ascension, creating Heave on Earth, so much is happening on our earth now, it is truly an exciting time to be here, one we all chose to do regardless if we remember or not.  
We are all starting to remember, and will remember more and more each day.  We will remember the love that we all truly are, and the connection we all have to one another, the oneness inside us all.  I finally have broken through, a total shift in energy, and am able at least to get my own place.  And my children's book, "Faith in Angels", is going to be illustrated next week, I am so excited this is becoming a reality!  I reconnected to one of my childhood friends, who happens to have a daughter just starting art school.  We got in touch, and she is going to help me illustrate it!  So pshyched! 

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So, I have two weeks to get my shit together, and get stuff done, while I am still here.  I also need to organize my stuff in the basement to see what I can leave here.  I don't want to take everything, only the things I need.  I am not looking forward to the packing, moving and unpacking, it is so draining and tough on my body.  I can't even get motivated to pack a thing, so tired of doing this so many times, I am putting it off! 
So, what's the conclusion?  What is this self love thing?  Now that I am alone without my children, obviously my priorities have changed as they are not around to care for anymore.  It is truly sad when they grow up, but I can say I am handling it much better this winter than I did last.  Last winter was so sad for me, crying all the time, but I felt the same way here at my brothers home for months as well.  Now living with someone, had made me realize I want to live alone.  I can run around in my underwear if I want to, I can have people over anytime, sleep over, etc.  Yes, alone, nice.  I always said living alone can be nice as long as you have a strong support system, and you have a lot of loved ones around to hang out with.  
Blessings of Love and Light, Namaste! 

A New Home at the Beach!

  

Okay, here goes, it's true!  I am moving down the shore, I think I still am in shock.  It just happened quickly, within a few days.   After realizing I can not afford to be up North with my children, and can only afford a one bedroom, I decided to move down the beach.  My children don't see me that often anymore, so there isn't a reason for me to be up there, I have no true friends there either.  My family is my support system and some friends more South.  My niece is getting married and just bought a home down the Shore.  He new husband to be is renting out his condo now due to the move.  I text her to ask her if it was still available, and low and behold it was!  And now it is mine!  Wow, I am still shocked, I can move in in three weeks.  This just happened so quickly I wasn't prepared for it this fast, but I am happy and thrilled. 
The first day I got a little worried, being on my own again financially, but I got through that quickly, knowing I will be fine.  It still hasn't sunk in yet, that I actually will have my own home!  All for me, just for me myself, don't have to live with someone else, just me!  I don't mean my children, I would love to live with them.
I hung out with my spiritual buddy who actually lives at the beach I am going to.  He is an Energy Healer, a really special one, like John of God.  He has been working on getting me healthy, doing energy work on me, and other things as well.  He also is a medium, and spirits talk to him all the time.  He said we met for a reason, and that the spirits guided him to me at the Sound Healing Class we attended.  And we have been friends ever since, he knows my pain, how bad it has been, and how stuck I am in my life as to where I am living.  After his healing Sunday, and we went out to eat and sat a special, my energy has finally shifted.  I woke up in terrible pain Monday, had to ice my neck all day, but Monday night is when I found out I had a new place to live, and it's down the shore!  Wow, I think it will feel like I am on vacation all summer, living down there!  No more driving from up North to hit the beach on the weekends, no more insane driving up and down the Parkway and Turnpike.  My new friend says the beach is going to be my new home, that this is where I am suppose to be now.  Now it is time for a healing, time for me to just relax, enjoy the moment, the day, the sun, the ocean, the sand, the shells, the seagulls, the feathers, the rocks, and heal!  Yes, I am open and ready to receive such Love and Joy come into my heart and life!  My children have always told me to do what I want, and live where I want to live.  I always did say as soon as my son graduated, I was going to move away from Bergen County, never really liking it there.  So, now, since I am taking care of myself and doing what pleases me, supposedly my children will feel more happier, safe and secure too.  I surely hope so, I hope the loving, positive energy bleeds down to them, they so much desire true, unconditional love.  
And maybe, this time I will find true love, once and fall all, down the shore, where I love to be!  I am happy, finally, and have a smile on my face most of the day now, all because I will soon have a home of my own, with my wonderful pieces of energy around me, which I miss very much!  Its been nine months without anything, just my clothes, not even a dresser to put my stuff in!  Thank you God, Source, Angels, Jesus, Mary, Aliens, Ascended Masters and all, for saving me! 

Message from the Ascended Masters 2/17/2016

 

Here is an uplifting, awesome message from the Ascended Masters, The Archangels, and also, many Alien species.  Here is just one of their many messages given to us at this time, to help us all come into full consciousness: 

There is a grand operation in place to receive the funds which have been hidden from us.  There will be new governments, and the new funds will be distributed successfully to all intended parties.  These new governments will end our debt slavery, and terminate the decades long UFO cover up, and then we can make contact with you directly.

These are very interesting times.  Many prosperity programs  will be put in place, and will end poverty and ill health.  A new world wide Medical system is being born that uses both new and traditional modalities.  We are coming into full consciousness.

We are in the beginning to watching many miracles to come.  It is important to forgive those that have cast you into your current predicament.  This is important as this will help you easily remove the gene sequences that restrict you.  Once this is cleared, you will get a better idea of where you came from and where you are now going.  It is important to accept to where you are now in your life.  These exercises will help you to regaining the status of "physical Angels".  We are working to help prepare you for the grand transformation that awaits you, and you will reunite with your spiritual and space families.  What is happening on Gaia is indeed a miracle!  

Your new reality will be filled with many miracles.  You are emerging from lack, to abundance.  Move forward and help each other in your quests.  You become a positive visionary and capable of working true miracles.  This new reality is filled with blessings.  We are amazed at what you have done to permit all of this to happen.  Your positive vision has helped keep most of the darkness at bay.  Pat yourself on the back for making this happen as quickly as you have.  

In your new reality, you will dive into fulfilling into your mission, into numerous projects.  This is when we can truly teach you about your journey and history.  Everyone was manipulated and controlled by the Annanaci.  This special time is to free you from this, to be set free and learn how you got here.  Most of you are some form of starseed, taken centuries long journey.  You are to forge a new history, with a most sacred conclusion.  Prepare for what is ahead of you, a most glorious future.  Know many miracles will occur, and know the countless supply of never ending prosperity of Heaven are yours.  
Here is the video, which is much more entailed: