My Family Party!

I called my brother in the morning to ask him if I could bring some boxes to store at his house, and he said sure.  I also mentioned to him my new situation with my finances, and told him I may need a place to stay a few months, and without a flinch told me, yeah, sure, talk to Bonnie about it when you come.  I was so thankful and relieved, and touched he responded so quickly and was so supportive!  

The day was awesome, it's amazing how being around family and loved ones makes you feel lifted up and supported in life! Ahh.  It was awesome to be around my family today, we don't get together much since Mom and Dad are in Spirit, and some of us divorced.  I love being around my family, I always have.  My brothers played horse shoes, my nephews jumped on the trampoline with Lucy, their adorable boxer, and me and my sister in laws chatted all day.  

My sister in laws and I talked about my girls moving out, and me moving on in my life.  We spoke about how this is time for me to heal, to be allowed to care for myself, without having to care for anyone else right now.  They know the struggle I have had, especially for the last two years when I pushed myself to care for four young children under seven years old.  I left that job when my spiritual teacher explained how I drastically needed to change my life, in order to survive.  And so I did.  It is time to totally care for me now, even though I have been more the past two years, this is it.  Total me, no one else, my body can relax now, not having to to anything for anyone but myself.  Wow, I am actually looking forward to this.  My sister in law and I have spoke of me moving into her place a few times last year, when I was vomiting almost weekly due to my migraine and neck pain.  "It is overdue", she said, and I understand her words.  I am glad I stayed until my daughters are ready to move out, and I see clearer now how all this needs to happen.  For all three of us to grow, and heal,and for them to be able to heal alone without their Mother caring for them!  They need to know now they can do it, take care of themselves, and move ahead.  I am so proud of them, this will be so amazing for them, and when we are together I hope the lack of respect will crumble.  We will see. My daughters get attitude at times, and don't always seem to be kind and compassionate towards me, and are selfish at times.  It is hard to not take it personal, but it is easy to do.  You feel you have given your children your entire being, and they do not want to help when you think they should.  I realized it will be nice to be away from this, from the negativity I feel from them at times, and from their attitude.  Sometimes it is hard to shine your light when others do not see it, and do not want to.  I will be free to shine my light where I am suppose to now here, on this earth. It will give me a chance to grow also, to bring my creative gifts out into the world!  It will give me the time to reach out and help heal the children on a larger scale, which I have been wanting to do for awhile.  
I am feeling so much better about this, and being near my family all day really helped to heal me.  I am grateful, I am happy, I am blessed!  
Love and Light