My Trip to the Emergency Room

So, after crying hysterical for awhile, and on and off for two days, I was left with such pain waking up the next day.  Woke up in severe pain in my neck and head, the pain that makes me vomit.  I woke at 7:00 am and was going to get right into the tub, which helps to calm my muscles.  But, as soon as I got up, I had to vomit.  Being there wasn't any food in my belly, my stomach just kept going into spasms.  I laid in bed and cried on and off all day, with nothing being able to ease the pain one bit.  Even the ice my daughter brought for me did not help, which usually does calm the pain down.  I could not handle the pain, and my stomach hurt so bad I couldn't keep vomiting.  Around 4:00 I finally called my sister in law to see if she could come up and take me to the emergency room.  Of course she could, and came right away.  I laid in bed as she arrived to crippled to even move and get dressed on my own.  
We got to the emergency room which was so bright and bothered me more.  I brought a blanket with me, and hid under that until I was called to go in, which was over an hour at least.  My sister in law tried talking to me many times, but I was in to much pain to respond.  We finally got into a room, where they hooked me up with IV, with pain medicine, and liquid to hydrate me.  The medicine was making me sleepy, which was great.  My sister and law kept talking, then went to get a bite to eat.  They took some tests, and everything came out okay, which I wasn't worried about, I just needed something for my pain.  My sister and law left, and my daughter picked me up.  I got home and went straight to bed, and slept most of the night.  When I woke up I was in severe pain again!  Oh no, I was really bummed again. but this time I was able to get in the tub.  Then I iced my neck, rested and tried to sleep.  This time my pain calmed down some, and I started to do some pastel work, trying to take my mind off the pain.
After reaching out to my soul family on face book, I went back into those emotions of feeling powerless and out of control in my life, and it brought me back to my home.  I can remember laying in bed crying, feeling powerless, when I would hear my parents fight and argue.  I would just lay there so scared, and pretty much forgot most of these memories.  It is time to remember, so I held my inner child, comforted her, and told her I was there with her now.  I was glad I realized where these feelings were coming from, because I always felt they were from all the things my ex did to me.  Things like taking my kids away, making me feel powerless and not in control of my life.  He also always got away with not having to pay me financially what he should, and that affected the way I lived my life.  Now I realize I felt like a victim, and truly am not, none of us are.  Once again my spiritual teacher taught me that, there are no victims, we do have the power and control within us, always.  
Tomorrow I have a family party to go to at my youngest brothers house, I hope I feel better in the morning!
Namaste ~