Wow, today is moving day. Woke up at 6:30 pretty nervous today. Not hysterical crying that I am "loosing" my kids, thank the Universe for that, but just nervous for the enormous change occurring. I still do not know where I will be living yet, my brother not getting back to me. He is suppose to help me move today, so I will wait to see what happens today. Maybe he didn't call back because he doesn't want me to stay with him, or maybe not. He is one of my brothers that doesn't always get back to me, and that's okay, I know this about him and accept it. For today, just for today, I am grateful it is a sunny day to move, and I have a place to store my furniture because my place fell through! I am grateful my brother will come help and drive the truck, and my children are here to help. I am grateful all of my "life belongings" will be in my brother's garage, close to me when I need it!
I went with my brother to get the truck, a 27' truck, just in case. I have no idea to judge how much room I need for my things, so I decided to take the largest one they had. When we got back to the house after getting the truck, I was surprised to see so much of our furniture already out on the front porch. My daughters were in an excited, energetic mood, I was so happy and surprised to see this. They all really worked hard, and we had the truck packed in an hour and a half. My family was so helpful, nice and kind, no anger, attitude at all! They all chipped in, up and down the stairs, pitching in to get it done. What hard work it is and so very emotional. Nervous, anxious, worried about all of my stuff being packed away and feeling like I will never see it again! Ugh this was truly a hard one, thank God for family and support!
We got lunch along the way, and ate in the car ride down to South Jersey where my brother lives. As I was driving down I had a beautiful sense of contentment, feeling ready for this new chapter in my life, knowing my life as a full time mother is completed. I am happy, I am content, and even excited to see where this new road will take me. Like I have said many times, I know I have so much work here to do to help raise the awareness, and vibration of everyone and anyone I come across! Yes, lots of work ahead of me, work though which is love, a love for what I want to accomplish here on earth! I was actually surprised by all of these emotions, being so calm and content. I had myself so worked up a few days, I just assumed I would be hysterical crying about my feelings towards "loosing" my children! But, it doesn't feel that way at all today. I feel like a very proud mother who has raised her children the best she could with the tools and support she (which was zero!!) It is such a beautiful, content feeling for now. After arriving at my brothers home, it only took us an hour to unload my life's savings! I just organized everything, it was as if everything they brought into the garage was a baby, and I had to tell them where to put it, needing to know where everything was. We truly do not realize all of the outside influences which affect who we are, our "identity". It's crazy, I feel like all of these "things" are "me", my stuff, my things, who I am. Of course this is not true, and I assume this is why the Buddhists teach "non attachment", I am assuming, not to "attach" ourselves to "things". Why not? Because who are we? We are not our "things" for sure, we are pure light, pure bright awesome beings, here to shine our light so bright, here to manifest and create the life we want, here to be joyfully happy!!
My kids came to help unpack, but came in a separate car, so they left first. I went with my brother to return the truck, and saved money because the gentleman did not charge us for traveling expenses. Thank you Universe for that.
Arriving back at the house was okay. It surely was weird with the house mostly empty. I will sleep here until Wednesday, the day the girls move into their own place! I am truly happy for them, and when I focus on their happiness, it comforts me somewhat. I will have plenty of time to concentrate on myself when they are gone, and I will be so sad. I already am. This is truly a hard one.
Love and Light to all!
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