Namaste
It seems as if the Universe wants to keep me guessing, because I found out yesterday the place I was going to live in fell through. Okay, yes I cried, I was really excited about having my own space, a loving, healing space that people didn't want to leave. I was excited about having family over for dinner, dinner parties, Angel Card Reading gatherings at my place, and so much more. I guess it is not ready to happen yet. I put total trust in the Universe now, to know, it will take me exactly where I should go, as long as I go with an open heart, one of non resistance, faith and trust. I can do that, that is how I live my life now, finally, fluently going with the current, instead of against it. Knowing I do not have all the answers, but I know what to focus on, and know I can manifest what I want, so that is what I work on. Then, I let it go, and try to go along with it. Yes, there are many times I have been in resistance to this, especially when I cry and am so disappointed about an outcome. I did cry because I felt disappointed, and am still sad, but have faith to know I will end up right where I am suppose to. That, in itself, is an amazing breakthrough for me. To not go into a panic and worry mode, to just say. "Okay, it wasn't meant to be". Easy, done, gone.
So, now new choices. I still have to move all of my furniture out tomorrow, so I will follow the schedule as planned. My brother is coming up in the morning to help me move and get the truck and drive it! Him and my son will do all of the heavy work. and me and my daughters will move the boxes and bins. Now that I have no where to stay, I need to store all of my stuff, and my brother offered me his garage, which I will take him up on.
I called one of my brothers this morning to see if I could stay with him awhile until I find a place, I haven't heard back from him yet. Oh boy, this is not fun waiting to see where I will be, what reality where, tomorrow. It is not a good feeling to have your entire home "packed up", your life stuff, and not knowing where it is going to be, not knowing when I will be able to let it all out and see it and use it again. It feels as if your entire "identity" is being put away somewhere, stored for now, and your left raw, alone, without any shelter physically and emotionally.
It's pretty crazy all of these emotions I am going through that were not there before, all because of this move. I really can see now what a big transformation this will be for me also though. My life is an open book now, a free slate, to do anything I want, and be anywhere I want to be. It's about being excited to see where this new road will take me and end up.
I said if I end up living with someone then it is meant to be. Maybe I am not ready to live alone just yet, maybe I need to bring love to one of my brothers if I end up living with someone, maybe I just need to relax mentally, emotionally, and physically right now, without any worries of having my own place right now. Whatever the reason is, I know it will show itself eventually. I may not have the answers yet about this move, but I know that everything is happening just the way it should, all for my highest good. I know the answers will appear as I walk this path daily. I am patient, and just want to know where I will be staying for awhile at this point, I will be happy with that.
I am starting to get pretty stressed now, and getting bad pain in my neck. I think I will go lay down for awhile. I don't like having my stuff not around me, my things, it's starting to upset me and make me panic, so I think I will go lay down, mediate and breathe! I will be in touch soon.
Namaste
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