Wow, I am still glowing from my Birthday celebrations, celebrations I planned for myself. I always seem to be the planner, and now I don't mind at all. Since I am no longer living with my children, and been pretty sad, I decided to make plans for my Birthday, and celebrate with my friends, and so I did.
Friday night I made plans to get together with my old Sherwood Ave friends, at a Portuguese Restaurant in South River. Two of my friends had to cancel, so it ended up being only me and my two friends. That did not matter though, as the three of us had a great time, and the Sangria was awesome too! My two friends didn't know each other well, but I knew they would click right away, as they are very much alike, very kind, giving and love with an open heart. We talked about old times, new times, things we have been through, and times to look forward too. My girlfriend's daughter was working on drawing me a picture of a young girl in bed, with an Angel above her. Well, she handed it to me when she arrived, and chills ran through my body, they were so cute! I told my friend, and she was so happy. She explained her daughter was really excited about this project, and now I can't wait to connect with her and take it to the next step, publishing!!!
Then, on Sunday morning, I had brunch in Hoboken with my children, and my daughter's boyfriend who I love. It was a wonderful morning, we had such a nice time. Now, we have a new person in our family, and I love it! This is all new for us, as my daughters are all grown up, and this being the first "serious" boyfriend. They have plans to marry, and I couldn't be happier for both of them. They are so much alike, and are great team players running his Dog Training Service. I showed the children the illustrations for my book, and they thought they were cute. We talked about many things, and it seems their Dad always comes up, in concern. He is not in a good place, and he has a young daughter he has to care for. Everyone has tried to inter vein and help him, to no avail. I keep saying how I want to talk to him, maybe I can get through to him. But every time I mention this with my children, they tell me he won't want to listen to me because,"he hates you Mommy". He hates me because he didn't ever want a divorce, my daughter tells me. Even though he is the one that filed for that divorce, not me. He moved out because I wanted him to because he was yelling at me, and treating me pretty badly for years. He did say if he moved out this time, he wouldn't come back, that he couldn't do this any longer. I understood that, but cried the day I read those divorce papers on the front lawn in Paramus. We had alot of love for one another, and were College sweethearts, each other's first true love. I feel for him now, realizing I did things wrong too, and want to help him. He will always be the father of my three children, and I will always have a connection to him due to all the love we had for thirty years. It's so nice to see my daughter's relationship growing with her boyfriend, and being around them is really nice, great energy they both have. Being with my son was great too, he has great energy and always seems so happy, he has a great spirit for sure. My other daughter couldn't make it, and she was missed. I will get together with her another time.
After leaving Brunch on Sunday, I decided to visit my brother and his wife and kids. We went to grab a bite to eat, and then I left to get home to watch the Super Bowl. I love hanging out with my sister in law and her daughter, we are close and they are family to me. I know they are always there for me, if they can be.
Then on Monday, the day of my Birthday, my sister in law took me out to lunch, to a really fancy Restaurant. It was so beautiful, and so special, time went so fast we didn't even get the chance to talk about everything! There is so much going on with all of us now, and it seems as if time is just flying by as well. My ex came up too, and she felt the same, that maybe I could be the one to get through to him, and not let my children discourage me. It would be tough to get to him because he doesn't ever want to see me or talk to me, so I would have to go to his office and pray he would see me. I have asked God if I am suppose to help him, then show me how, show me the way to get to him.
Then, my spiritual guy friend down the shore, took me out to eat, and did a healing on me as well. He is a new, great healer, being compared to John of God. He has worked on me a few times, and my pain is still pretty intense, isn't better at all. He has told me he has healed so many others, and I ask why am I not one of them yet?? We were going to go to a Sound Healing in Belmar, but due to the bad weather, we decided not to. I got home early and was happy to be here in my temporary home for the night. I do not like being outside at night in the cold, so I stay in and hibernate as much as I can. I think that's what winter is for, hibernating, self reflecting, soul searching, digging deep and figuring it all out. As long as you are happy and content, you can stay in all the time. When you are sad, it could be very difficult keeping your spirits up staying inside all day.
So, I must say I am so very grateful today. I have many memories, and am so glad I made the plans I did for my day. It was truly special, all of the celebrating I did with each person, has touched my heart in many ways. I feel so grateful and blessed to have the special, wonderful, caring, loving people I have in my life. For today I am not sad about my living situation, nor sad about not living with my children anymore and living far away, nor sad about my financial situation and my pain. Today I am feeling so happy and blessed to love, to have love, and to be loved.
I hope everyone, everywhere has someone special to love them unconditionally always.
No comments:
Post a Comment