It is crazy that we adopt animals, love them to death, all knowing they will die someday. It's like we do this to ourselves, all knowing they will not be with us forever, but we don't think about this when we adopt! We never think of the day they will be ill, or get hurt, and have to leave us.
This dog was not mine, she was my brother's, a Golden Retriever, Zoey. She wasn't feeling well for the past month, and had a fever on and off. My brother was in and out of the vet with her, trying to figure out what was wrong. She also was having problems walking, and getting up and down, and had a leg injury years ago. The vet finally took xray's of her leg, and decided to xray her lungs as well. He found a large mass the size of an apple on her lungs, feeling it may be cancerous. My brother came home that day, and knelt down by his dog, and started to cry. My heart broke for him, and didn't even know what to do to comfort him, as I put my hand on his shoulder. This is always really tough, death.
My brother is the oldest of six boys and myself, and he does not show much emotion when he is sad. When I went to attend a friend of mine's grandchild's funeral, my brother told me he wouldn't have been able to go, because he couldn't handle it. I didn't understand that at the time, knowing for me I don't think about it, I try to be there for others if needed in a crisis, and pray, breathe, and ask God for support. It's all about supporting one another on this earth, especially through rough times.
So, the vet was going to do a sonogram of the mass in about a week, to see what was going on better. But, as soon as she was diagnosed and came back from the vet, she stopped eating. She became very weak, and could barely walk, and was becoming unresponsive all within a few days. She started to hang out in my room, staying here, and not wanting to leave, and I didn't understand why she didn't want to stay in the Living Room with my brother. The poor baby, I spent much time on the floor with her, petting her, sending her Reiki Energy wishing it would save her, and telling her it was okay, she would be okay either way.
We had a major snowstorm over the weekend, and I stayed in all day. She laid on my floor, and I pet her and spoke to her. By Sunday, she was getting weaker, and starting to shake while she tried to walk. While petting her, I felt she was telling me she was done, and she was very weak. I spoke to my brother about how she was acting, and told him he should take her to the vet. He explained he was going to stop at the vet the next day to get some medication to stimulate her appetite. Okay, I wanted him to take her in so the Doctor could check her and see what he felt, but I just went with it. But, by Tuesday, when I went into the bathroom, Zoey came out of my room and I heard a thump. It was her, she had fallen flat in the hallway, with her legs spread wide open, and I have never seen her lay this way before. That was when I said I have to talk to my brother again, while looking into her eyes. She was suffering, she was hurting, and it just wasn't fair for her for us to do nothing.
So, when I came home Tuesday night, my brother was still in the living room, asleep on the couch. I woke him up as I walked in, and I asked how Zoey was. "Not good", was his response. So, I spoke to him about how much she was suffering, and is so very weak that she could barely walk, and how she hasn't eaten in days, and how she barely responds to me when I call her. I told him he should take her to the vet and put her to sleep. Well, he wasn't happy to hear that in the least. He got somewhat upset and told me no, he wasn't going to do that, and it is his dog. I told him he was being selfish, making her suffer like that. Then, I went in my room to go to bed.
I left a note for him that night explaining to him that I didn't mean to upset him last night and that I knew how hard this was. Well, when I woke up the next morning, my brother was home and did not go to work. When I went out my door, there he was sitting on his couch in the Living Room crying. I sat next to him and started to rub his back with my hand, telling him I was sorry. He felt that I was right about Zoey, and explained how hard this was for him, and he didn't even know what to do. I told him I would help him any way I could, and he wanted me to call the vet, so I did, we had an 11:30 appointment. He said he couldn't go in with her, we could have the workers get her from his Jeep and take her in. I told him I would stay with her, so we would take two cars.
When the time came to leave, my brother had to pick Zoey up from the Living Room, and carry into the back of his Jeep. It was hard for him to pick her up, but finally got her up. When we arrived at the Vet's office, my brother couldn't even open the back of the Jeep while we waited, and I felt badly that I could not comfort Zoey. As we were standing outside the truck waiting, I looked inside to see her, and asked him if he wanted to open the back, and he said no. So sad, so sad, this one is tough.
Two workers came out to our car with a stretcher to take Zoey inside. I went in with them and went into the room with her and stayed there. It took the Doctor at least a half hour to come in, but this gave me the opportunity to be with her longer.
I prayed with her, called in God, Jesus, Mary, Archangels, Ascended Masters, my guides, etc. and asked for them to watch over her in her passing, and I told her to go to the light. I told her it would be okay, she would be free of pain, and would be so very happy. Of course I was petting her the entire time, sitting right next to her face. She was a beautiful dog, a light haired Retriever. She was so happy and playful, but demanded attention.
After the Doctor came in and left, I cried, and stayed with her for awhile. I did not watch when the Doctor did what he had to, I was focused on Zoey, petting her, loving her, telling her how much I loved her, how much we loved her. It was hard to say goodbye and leave, but after about ten minutes I got the strength to be able to. I got in my car and drove back to the house, and to my surprise my brother had already taken the crate down, and was vacuuming. I told him I would mop, and he left to go to the Bar down the street where he knows everyone. It was pretty sad being in the house without her, every time I walked into my room I was looking for her.
It's so crazy to me how life can change drastically in one moment, one moment she was here, and bam, then she was gone. We weren't prepared, she seemed fine, happy and strong, never did I think she would pass while I was staying at my brothers home.
It shows you how important it is to appreciate all around you, everyone, and how we need each other here. We comfort each other in pain, so not to have to do alone. We have one another to laugh with, so not to have to laugh alone. Life is meant to share, I hope you will get out and share yours with your loved ones as well.
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