Another Place to Lay My Head

Namaste All
So, I am finally here, here in another world, sort of.  It took the kids all day yesterday to move, and my daughter asked me to stay with her dog during the day so he wouldn't have to be alone while they were moving.  We thought they would be done by 2:00, and that didn't happen.  I stayed at the house alone all day with Jake, cleaning the floors and everything else.  There was still last minute things to do, it was never ending.  I took a lot of time just laying around with Jake, laying next to him and petting him.  I also learned about some trauma work for animals, and practiced on him a few times.  They say dogs can have PTSD just like humans, from another dog attacking them, which makes total sense.  Well, the first few months we had him, we took him to the dog park, and this occurred more than once.  It shock me how dog owners do not take this action very seriously, I had to basically ask the human to leave on day due to his dog attacking mine, and he didn't even want to go!  But, Jake seems to bark a lot, and is fearful, and not so sure of other dogs.  
The kids didn't get back to the house until around 7:00 pm, and we were all starving, not stopping to eat all day.  My daughter and I ate our last quick meal in the foyer on the steps, a gluten free, veggie pizza I had bought yesterday.  I picked up food for my son, and a bottle of champagne, and he took it to the girls new apartment to eat it, my daughter was too anxious to stay in the house.  Tears were coming to her eyes, as she was so worried about how Jake would now act in a totally new environment.  She was anxious to get to her new place, so as everything seemed to be finished, we left.  I ran out the back door with last minute things in my hand, along with the bottle of champagne.  As I opened the car door, the champagne slipped out from under my arm due to my slippery winter coat, and smash, there went the champagne, spilling all over the driveway next to me as I was getting in my car.  I took it as a as sign of letting go, gone, into another place and time.  The unknown which I am not very happy about.
We got to their apartment and the place is beautiful!  They bought a new couch set, dark brown with gold studs all around the front of the furniture.  The floor plan is a very open floor plan, with an island in the middle.  There is an upstairs split in two, two bedrooms, each with their own walk in closet and bathroom.  I am so very happy for them, it will bring them so much joy and happiness.  I helped them unpack the kitchen, and threw their new white dishes in the dishwasher.  It was really cute and fun, like playing house all over again!  I left by 10:00, so I didn't get into my brothers home for the first night too late. Driving home I cried on and off, saying "good by" to change isn't always so easy.  Saying "good by" to Mother hood isn't either.  I cried over the things I could have done differently, and should have, so many mistakes I feel I have made.  My Shaman showed me how I haven't forgiven myself, and need to.  Looking in the mirror and telling myself this made me cry.  So many memories filled with serious mistakes, and lessons, sometimes they are too hard to bear.  Couldn't that be so?  Too hard to "accept", wanting it different, being in resistant to it.  There you go, back to the work, the spiritual, psychology work.  I will have to go back to those memories, hold myself tight, and plan a different outcome, a loving outcome which comforts me.
I got in the door to my brothers house, only with some sweats to sleep in, leaving everything in the car for the morning to unload.  I took my comforter in, and hopped into bed for the night.  I feel so exhausted the bed seems like a comforting place to be.  Thank you for small things like a place to lay my head tonite.