Settling In After a Week

Namaste
It's been pretty tough, I have been so sad I can't even write.  Too many changes, too much chaos and confusion I feel.  I do not like being here or anywhere.  Anywhere meaning in no one else's space, I just want my own, my own stuff, my own space.  What a way to feel like shit, just move in with someone else, having none of your things around, feeling so alone without your family.
Yes, my emotions have calmed down, instead of crying all day, I have periods of tears throughout the day.  I am still so very sad, so hurt, so upset so not settled.  I am worrying now about everything, money, a job, what to do next for work.
I was lucky to spend two days with my daughters, I went with my one daughter to NYC to see a Doctor the other day, and the day after spent time with my other daughter.  It helps to leave here and be there with them, but when I see them with their attitude, I want to leave and be alone.  
See how confusing this is getting?  Wanting to be with them and see them, and then not wanting to be around the attitudes any more.  I want peace, peace and love, is that too much to ask?  I want a home that I love, with my things in it.  I want loved ones around, whoever they are, but I want them around.  I want to cook for them, laugh with them, and hibernate with them this winter with a fireplace in the snow.  
So, if I know I can manifest what I want, why do I not want it?  I have wanted my own home for years.  I have wanted a man in my life, a man that loves me for the rest of time.  If that man is my ex, and I am here now to take care of him and his young daughter, so be it, I am up for the challenge.  I will always have a loving connection to him, he was my first love, falling in love at 17 years old, being with him for about 30 years.  Through all the pain and hurt we caused one another, I have changed my heart to love, love for him, love to him, knowing we made a commitment here on earth to help one another along the way.  Contracts we make with others before we come down here, all to help one another growth.  He was my biggest teacher, and I still did not learn from him what I should have.  That is why I get it from my children.  Mirrors they are to my own pain, so hard to see and deal with at times though.  
So, I know what I want, now I need the Universe to send it to me.  I do not have to know the "how", I just need know what I want and put it out there.  How easy that sounds when you put your trust in the Universe, and you know how the Universe works.  It works for us, with us, and sends us people to help us along the way.  Just because it loves us, and wants to see our growth and expansion, which in turn causes it's own growth and expansion.  What a wonderful way for it to work, with us, for us, on our side, like the biggest cheerleader we have!  Source energy, connection, the Universe, all us, all one, all here to help us along this journey to loving ourselves totally!
When I am so sad and low like I have been, I forget about this.  I forget about this stuff, I get so stuck in a bad place, crying, worrying, it is hard to get out.  It is hard to remember and return to love, just wanting support from someone, anyone.
This is my tenth day here, and I am calmer.  My head is not spinning as much, I feel more focused on what I need to do now, settling in.  My clothes, and stuff were everywhere, and it took all week to condense it all to what I need currently.  With no space but a bedroom, you are very limited in what you have near you.  I brought my crystals, candles, and some bamboo with me, and at night I light my candles and pray and meditate, which seems to help with my energy.  My energy was so high, and became very depleted over this move.  I wish my energy was as high as it is when I get back from a Workshop from Teal Swan, and I am working on bringing that energy up again.  
People wear you down, complaining, negative, unhappy people.  It is hard to stay happy and positive in this world, that is why my home is my sanctuary, away from it all, in my own space where I can create and be.  I can be without judgments in where I go or what I do.  
I am still scared and worried about how income will flow, but have asked the Universe to send me work, work I want to do, work I am here to do, and becoming financially abundant doing that.  This is not a good place to be, in the state of rear and worry, because it is such a low vibration.  It is sad, I am sad, tomorrow is another day.