My Girlfriend Coming to Help me Pack!

This time, I decided to ask people to help me pack, and not handle it all alone, which was too exhausting for me last time.  My girlfriend came to help me pack my apartment up this weekend, because I finally asked, and she knew I felt so alone a few months ago when I packed and unpacked alone!  It is such a big deal, packing, unpacking, so emotional.  Moving has totally made me realize what I do want.  A place to call home, filled with loved ones in it!  A nice place, for me and my family, or a new family I look forward to having.

     

When she arrived, we hadn't seen each other for awhile, and we can talk forever!  I was so overwhelmed at first, not even knowing where to start, and I like to do it all myself, so I know where everything is.  It feels as if your life is being taken from you, taken away again.  Taken from you because you are putting your whole self in these boxes, your life's stuff, your children's pictures, your kitchen stuff, etc., and I have no idea when I can take it out and use it again.  I even broke down with her here a few times, because it is so upsetting and unsettling.  

But, we started, and then it became easier.  We stopped and talked a lot too, not seeing her since February for my Birthday.  She is my best friend from childhood, one of my best friends for life!  It is so nice to see people you love, that is what makes me happy now, connecting with loved ones, appreciating the people around me.  That is what makes me filled and happy!  We packed Saturday for awhile, and then I ran to take the dogs out and walk them.  Sunday I walked them again in the morning, and we came back and packed some more.  We didn't get much done Saturday, but did so much Sunday!  She packed the whole kitchen for me, and I worked on the living room, and the closets.  When she left I only had my bedroom and bathroom to tackle.  Stuff in the closet too that I wanted to organize like pictures, canvas, and painting supplies.  I still packed after she left, still having that motivation in me.  
When I stopped I was exhausted, and my body felt it, that pain I get.  I woke up crying again Sunday, not knowing how I can keep getting up each day and pushing myself ahead in the world.  We talked about my pain, and as soon as I get some type of health coverage (as I have none), I will look into Doctors again.  

I slept at my boss's home Sunday night, and went back to the apartment again on Monday.  I worked for hours, I didn't realize how much time passed, and how much other stuff I still needed to do.  Packing to me is never ending, it feels as if I am not done until the last minute!  But, for now I am happy my girlfriend came to help me, it helped so much, and I am looking forward to getting out of here, out of this negative environment, and this small apartment all alone!  
Love and Light!!