It truly is amazing how my body is affected by the giving I do for others and from running around for days. My boss needed me to watch the kids overnight this week and it was really tough on my body. When I finally got home Friday night, I was in so much pain, ugh. I went to bed really early as well. Waking up Saturday, I was so out of it, drained, and very sleepy feeling exhausted, along with such burning pain I was crying again. I am getting so tired of even writing about it, so I am sorry, it's very crazy to me. Then, that pain put me in a downward spiral, leaving me crying over how sad I am in my life now as well.
I had to take the boy I care for to gymnastics on a Saturday, even though I had plans for the day. She really needed him to get there, and at first I told her I could not do it. I decided not to sacrifice my stuff for her, especially because she did not want to pay me overnight for watching the children and the two dogs. And, I found out people pay from $60-$80 a night just to PET sit! Then when we were together, she asked again, and of course I feel badly, and I give in and offer to take him there. Limits, boundaries, pain, when am I going to get it? Wake up, I tell myself, say no and set limits due to the pain it all puts me in. Everyone seems so draining to me, like they want so much from me all the time. Not my children any longer, but the families I care for, they always want me to do more and more, and I have a hard time setting boundaries and saying no. I am such a pleaser, always wanting to please others first. But what is that telling yourself? That you are second, not first, the most important! I guess these are opportunities to set my boundaries, and learn to say no and protect myself. I want to be able to say no, when I need to, and put myself first. It's funny, growing up I was the opposite, I was so strong, such a rebel, and fought for my rights. But, with my ex I fought back as well, but gave in to him too! Much learning I have ahead of me!
Then, my boss asked me to dog sit the two dogs she has when they go away, and I had to text her back first, asking what she wanted to pay me first. At least I learned from this, and am being more assertive already with her. She never did get back to me.
I was so blessed by my other family, they paid me two weeks vacation, sick days, and snow days. My new family always expected me to go in on a snow day when the kids didn't have school, and drive them to their events in the afternoon when I do not like to drive in the snow. I wouldn't have minded if I lived in their town, but I do not. The one night I left their home in a snow storm, it took me over an hour to get home, and I almost was run over by a truck! That is when I said "no" to myself, no more driving that far in the snow for anyone! I went in the snow storms because I was always worrying about making enough, enough money, more money. I am so tired of living this way, I am now going to accept a life filled with financial abundance, and the freedom it brings to me! My goal is to manifest so much money I can live in the homes I want to on the water, and give my children all the money
they ever need!
Then, my boss asked me to dog sit the two dogs she has when they go away, and I had to text her back first, asking what she wanted to pay me first. At least I learned from this, and am being more assertive already with her. She never did get back to me.
I was so blessed by my other family, they paid me two weeks vacation, sick days, and snow days. My new family always expected me to go in on a snow day when the kids didn't have school, and drive them to their events in the afternoon when I do not like to drive in the snow. I wouldn't have minded if I lived in their town, but I do not. The one night I left their home in a snow storm, it took me over an hour to get home, and I almost was run over by a truck! That is when I said "no" to myself, no more driving that far in the snow for anyone! I went in the snow storms because I was always worrying about making enough, enough money, more money. I am so tired of living this way, I am now going to accept a life filled with financial abundance, and the freedom it brings to me! My goal is to manifest so much money I can live in the homes I want to on the water, and give my children all the money
they ever need!
Namaste
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