Visiting my Brother and his Wife

         

It is Saturday, and I am lonely once again.  I am going to go South to visit my sister in law, who I love so much and always has her door open for me.  Her mother was there, and I talked to her for awhile, and my sister in law made a delicious salmon dinner.  I love her home, they have three acres and live on a quiet road in Monroe, NJ.  Much different there than here, where traffic is everywhere.  I find peace and comfort there, and they have lived there since they have been married.

I so wish I stayed in one home while raising my children.  I guess I am suppose to stop doing this, dwelling over the past, see how those memories creep up automatically?  I need help, advice, someone to maybe hypnotize me and erase my painful past memories.  Not the ones from childhood, I have been working through them for a long time.  But, the ones from when I was divorced, and things I did that caused much more suffering to me.
I could go on and on forever about them, but I will not.  I lost so much, a family, a castle, lots of money I gave to jerky guys and I don't even know why.  I don't even have answers to why I would trust a man, give him so much of my money for whatever reason, and allow him to leave and not do anything about it.  I have let others take advantage of me so many times, with money as well, and never followed my voice and did anything about it.  Always listening to others telling me no, it can't be done.  Don't ever do that!  If you ever feel strongly about something, make sure you follow thru, follow your heart and do it.  Because we have all the answers inside of US, no one else has them for us, and knows what's best for us, but us!  
It is so important to go inside and question things, go meditate, relax, take a bath, work out, whatever, just clear your mind to focus.  To calm the mind down so our innate soul can act, can feel, can answer, all coming from our heart.  To slow down, contemplate, not rush into things as I did for so many years, causing me so much pain in my life.
                                            
Now I want love, love, peace, joy, happiness and of course financial freedom, financial abundance.  Universe, send it to me now, now, today, so I can enjoy the abundance, enjoy my life more each day.
I have joy, I have peace, I have love and abundance in my life now, financial abundance as well.  I thank you Universe for sending it to me!
Namaste all Day!