July Fourth, with no where to go!

So, it's another holiday summer weekend, and I find myself all alone!! All alone after being born into a huge family, and me having three of my own, always with family around me.
Now, it is a different time, different place, one of feeling alone and lonely every morning I awake, and I hate it!  I even take the time to do some work I have learned to do, to try to heal that pain, and shift it to the light, but I still wake up so sad.  I wish my life was so different, I don't know how it all even happened, when I look back.  It seems so far away, but comforting to be with my ex's family after all these years.  We have reunited and I am so grateful they have allowed me back in, but I was still all alone on this holiday.  Then I contemplate my life, how the Universe released the last few people in my life that had a different energy going on.  Yes, this is good, it means growth for me, but it also means being alone for now on holiday's.  My family is all split up now, everyone wanting to do their own thing, and no one in my family seems to want me in their life anymore, except my two brothers and his wife!  I understand my energy has shifted, and the negative has to leave, but it still makes me sad when I am alone on a weekend where we should be happy, bonding, and celebrating with loved ones!!
I only need my children to be there on special occasions, but they too are busy making plans with their friends, and my daughter is busy with her boyfriend's family this weekend.  My other daughter who just moved in with her Aunt, could come see me, or invite me there, but has no desire to see me, and that breaks my heart.  She has gone into a funk, and has been made at me on and off the last few weeks, and when she is off she ignores me!  She ignores my text's until she is ready to talk, and that can be up to two weeks, now, as this last spell was.  Family doesn't treat each other this way, when you are a close knit family, you talk and work it out.  You don't hold grudges, or punish someone because you are made at them!  This is what she does, and it upsets me she has so much pain and anger still in her heart that she needs to let go.  Talking to someone about her issues with me may surely hope, and that is what I am praying for, as I also pray for our relationship to heal, and her come back to love!
So, I had no plans this weekend, and no one even invited me to a BBQ! Okay Universe, where are the like minded people I need to meet and fall in Love with?  I did meet a new family I am now friends with, and met them on the beach this weekend.  They are so wonderful, so loving and kind, and have a two year old daughter! I met them in the parking lot of a food store down here about a month ago, we connected instantly, and she reached out to me a few weeks later.  We have so much in common as she had Lyme, and has healed herself with natural remedies!  There are NO coincidences here, only synchronicities!! Amen!  She has already helped me so much with nutrition and Lyme, and I am so grateful!  He is a healer, a Major healer who channels Archangel Raphael!! And here, another synchronicity, as I have been praying to Raphael because he is the healer, and I need to be healed so!! He even has out of body experiences, and we are all on the same path with spirituality, healing, and helping others along our path!!
Another day, no sunshine today, a day to stay in and write, and work on the children's book I am illustrating, "Faith in Angels"! Can't wait to get it done and out there!
Love and Blessings to all, we can always turn to gratitude to help that shift, and find loved ones to be around, as much as you need to!  But, if you are fortunate enough to have loved ones around all the time, then you must take time to be alone, to ground, breathe, relax, and dream, and to hear your inner guide who is always there to guide you!

My Niece's Wedding Day!!

It finally came, my nieces day! What a wonderful, beautiful time we all had.  It all started Friday morning at 8:30 when I got to her home to watch the four boys!  Two of the boys were hers, and the other two were her sisters.  The boys were all on their games when I got there.  After they got bored, I suggested going outside to play anything, and I barely could get them out!! We were forced outside when the weather was nice, and I think it was great to make us go outside and play.  Be in Love, be in nature, in the grass, with the trees, surrounded by the beautiful flowers, birds, squirrels, and all that nature has to offer.   No, they wanted to stay in and play those games that I do not like at all.   It's all about killing, and we wonder why people in the world kill each other, we only have games promoting it!!
Anyway, back to the wedding!  My niece got back and didn't want me to see her, thinking it was bad luck.  I assured her it was only for the husband!  My brother and sister in law came about 12:00 with food for lunch, I ate quick and ran out.  The excitement was everywhere, the energy was amazing, I was so psyched and excited for this to finally happen!
I ran home and got dressed.  I got to the Church fifteen minutes early, and the Church was so very small and cozy.  My niece looked absolutely beautiful, and her honey looked awesome as well, so very happy with smiles on their faces the entire time!  The mass was nice, my daughter and son met me there.  I was glad they came so I wasn't alone in the Church, and wanted them to see it as well.
After the Ceremony, we went back to my house and I changed and my daughter helped with my make up.  Off to the Reception we went, and my other daughter was on her way with her boyfriend/fiance.  This is the first time my family is meeting my daughter's boyfriend, and I have bragged all about him because he is a dog trainer and works with Ceaser Millan, who has a television show on dog training.  She truly has been blessed and manifested the man of her dreams.  They are both so much alike, love the dogs, and now she helps him run his dog training business.  I love him, he's a great, respectable, kind man, and always is trying to uplift my daughter and give her confidence to do anything she wants to do.
The cocktail hour was nice, but there wasn't many tables to sit and eat at, so we all stood.  When my daughter arrived, she was nervous to introduce her boyfriend to my family, so I told her I would, not worries.  We introduced him to my family, most of my brothers were quiet except one, who was talking to him.  
The Reception started, and went by so fast, I barely remember all that happened.  I sat next to my son and daughter, who were both so happy.  It was beautiful to see my daughter so happy in love with her man, it's the first major event we have had as a family in a long time.  To see her smiling, and laughing, with her boyfriend all night was so beautiful and comforting, leaving some love in my heart as well.  And my other daughter sat near them on the  other side, and enjoyed in their company and laughter all night. My son had a great time, and this is his first family event that he is over 21 and can legally drink!  And he did!  He had a smile on his face all night as well, and hung out with my daughters, and talked a lot to his cousin who is only a few years older than him. 
 I danced more than my daughters, and had a great time with my great nephews as well.  I wanted to slow dance with the Groom, but totally forgot as I didn't see him on the dance floor at all.  I did see my niece, the bride, and danced with her.  The Groom's little niece of three years old, grabbed my hands on the dance floor and started to dance with me, it was so sweet!  The boys were having fun running around and dancing all night.  Some of my family just sat, and barely got up.  Some people have that negative vibe going on, and are in a different space than me, and one of my brothers was a no show!! I had a feeling he forgot, and sure enough, he did!  He's a single guy, and it could be easy to forget unless you see it on your calendar somewhere, they aren't into weddings like us woman!
The night ended, which was sad, and I got pictures of my family at the end, but forgot to get some with the Bride and Groom!  After I said goodbye to my children, I stayed until the ending, helping with nothing, saying goodbye to all!  My niece decided to give me a lantern which was part of her centerpiece.  I was thrilled to have something from her Wedding to remember her day by!! 
When I arrived home, and changed, I sat down, too wired to go asleep.  I was so grateful for the evening, and the love, I wrote a letter to my children expressing how blessed I am to have them in my life and how much I love them.  I finally went to bed, but woke at 5:00 am, and couldn't go back to sleep.  

Releasing Tears before I Move

Woke up so upset the other day, crying out of nowhere, it caught me totally by surprise. I cried and cried, feeling sad and scared.  Scared of what?  Scared of moving on, moving ahead to a new life again.  I moved seven times last year, and it was very upsetting and unsettling.  When you move, you feel out of your element, confused about everything, because nothing is the same, for your living space at least.  I realized the tears were letting go of the past, my past life as a wife and Mother, and moving onto a new life for myself.  A life for myself that I don't care about because all I want to do is to be a Mother.  Maybe I should have followed through about being a Foster Parent when I thought of it years ago.  But, I was worried about my pain, how can I care for a child all day, every day, being in pain like that?  So, I decided to focus on getting healthy, finding my place here on earth and following my life purpose.
The tears were tears of sadness realizing I could not afford a place up North for me and my children,  I could only afford a one bedroom, and that makes me feel a lack, lack of not being able to help them, not being able to provide for them when they need me to.  My oldest daughter doesn't care and said she may leave to go away to school anyway, and my son keeps telling me he wants to get his own place.  So, I realized I didn't want to live up there alone again as I did last winter because I was so sad and lonely all the time.  
Now I will be moving down the shore, to the beach where people go all summer for vacation.   I will be living there all year, so it will be home for me.  But I don't want a new home, a new area to get use to.  At least up North is home, I have lived there over thirty years.  And, where I am now at my brothers is home, I grew up here.  The beach is totally a new place to live.  Yes, I have been there many times, but never lived there.  Yes, it probably is good that it is a new town, because it will be a new life, a new start for my on my own.  But, like I said, I cried for the life I could have had, the life I lost and wanted back, my family.  I will always feel that loss after loosing custody of my children because of my crazy ex husband, all so he didn't have to pay child support, not because he wanted his children so badly.  And now he has so many issues, the children barely want to have a relationship with him.  It is so very sad, they have no Dad, just me and their Aunts and Uncles, but they have plenty of them!  And tons of cousins as well.
So, I am releasing the old, cleansing those emotions that no longer serve me, and moving ahead.  I am proud of myself for always striving for more, for better, what's the sense of living if we can't be happy?  I will purge ahead until I am happy, content and at peace, whatever it takes.  And for now, it takes me hitting the beach, well not only hitting it, but actually living there! Wow, only two weeks left, count down for sure!! <3

Turning to Gratitude to Shift Your Energy

Gratitude, what a wonderful thing!  I have been hearing this word for years in the Spiritual Community, turn to gratitude.  And finally now, I see how amazing it works!  We can’t think abundance and lack at the same time, so when focused on abundance, that is what we manifest!  Gratitude is such a simple, easy thing to do when you are sad and low and need a lift, it is just a shift in focus.  We all have things to be grateful for, and when we turn to gratitude, only more pours out of us.  All we have to do is remember, remember to do this daily.

What can you be grateful for today? What do you have in your life that puts a smile to your face when you see it or think of it?  Be careful, once you start, you can never stop!  We seem to take so much for granted, just keeping on each day.  But, when we are sad, turning to gratitude truly makes us remember what we have, and what we can be grateful for here on this earth now.  It is a total shift in consciousness, which immediately shifts your energy and vibration, attracting more loving, positive situations.  We need to be careful what we focus on, because, what we think we get!  Yes, the power of attraction, and be grateful for all we have.  

I always start with my three children, then it spreads throughout my entire family, and even to my ex and his family that was once mine for over twenty five years.  Then I go to the animals I have, or had, and how much we loved each other.  Then I realize how much love and support I have in my life now, and I am grateful for that.  I do not take the people around me for granted, as I have lived alone without my family for awhile, and it still saddens me.  Now when I am with my friends and family for whatever reason, I am very grateful for the moment, and express this to them as well.  The time I spend with my children, my nieces, my nephews, and especially great nephews, are such precious times to me now, forever grateful for!  Grateful that they love spending time with me as well!  It is amazing how one person can touch a child’s life with love!

Grateful for Mother Gaia, for all the animals, trees, flowers, streams, etc. that she has to offer us.  I truly love nature, like most of us do.  There is so much to be grateful for out there!  To be able to lay on the beach, put my feet in the sand, gratitude.  To be able to sit under a tree, in the woods, near a lake, gratitude.  To watch the birds and the animals play, gratitude.  To see the sunset, the sunrise, gratitude.  To be kissed by my brothers dog, gratitude!

So, sit down, breathe, relax, and start your day by thinking of what you can be grateful for, and you may see a smile on your face for the entire day!  When we are in a state of gratitude, Source energy just flows through us, bringing to us our desires.  We attract what we think, and by being grateful, God and the Universe shows us more of it flowing into our lives.  Keep that stream open, by focusing on what we are grateful for, and I promise you, that stream will never stop!

I have been more aware and conscious of focusing on gratitude, what I can be grateful for, and I feel it has contributed to my shift in energy.  Great things are coming my way, finally, and I am forever GRATEFUL! Amen!

Feeling so Much Better Now

So many wonderful things are finally happening now for me!  I am so grateful, truly grateful, to be moving on to another chapter of my life.  I have been without my own home for about ten months now, so I am truly excited.  A comforting feeling, knowing I will be safe and have my own home.  There is something to be said for having your own place, your own space, with all of your things around you that comfort you.  Possession, ours, how these things seem to identify who we are.  As I was in the basement the other day, I saw all my furniture down there and told it that we were going to have a new home soon!  It just came out of nowhere, just seemed like the thing to do.  Actually, everything does have energy, and if we are nicer to our things it matters, somehow!  
So, now I know I definitely have a place, my nieces fiance's place down the shore!  Am I happy? Hell ya!  Is it hard to believe?  Totally, can't imagine being down the shore all summer, like actually living there.  I have been traveling to the beach my entire life.  My father would take us, and when I was twelve years old, my girlfriend's sister use to take us to the beach all the time.  I grew up being only a half hour from the beach, and once we all drove, we hit the beach anytime we could!  Since I have been living up North, I have been driving down the shore most weekends in the summer, as the ocean calls me.  When I was first divorced and my ex had our children on a Sunday, I would drive down alone, and it would help heal me.  So, this summer will be a totally different summer for me, it surely will be fun and busy.  I am hoping I will get many visitors all summer long, sleeping over, taking it easy down the shore.  
Wow, sounds so good to me now.  I can't believe in two weeks my entire life is going to change again, this time for the better.  Then I will be able to shine my light so bright, like I am telling everyone else to do!  It is time, the time is now, to dream great dreams and make them come true.  The manifestation era.  Oneness, the ascension, creating Heave on Earth, so much is happening on our earth now, it is truly an exciting time to be here, one we all chose to do regardless if we remember or not.  
We are all starting to remember, and will remember more and more each day.  We will remember the love that we all truly are, and the connection we all have to one another, the oneness inside us all.  I finally have broken through, a total shift in energy, and am able at least to get my own place.  And my children's book, "Faith in Angels", is going to be illustrated next week, I am so excited this is becoming a reality!  I reconnected to one of my childhood friends, who happens to have a daughter just starting art school.  We got in touch, and she is going to help me illustrate it!  So pshyched! 

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So, I have two weeks to get my shit together, and get stuff done, while I am still here.  I also need to organize my stuff in the basement to see what I can leave here.  I don't want to take everything, only the things I need.  I am not looking forward to the packing, moving and unpacking, it is so draining and tough on my body.  I can't even get motivated to pack a thing, so tired of doing this so many times, I am putting it off! 
So, what's the conclusion?  What is this self love thing?  Now that I am alone without my children, obviously my priorities have changed as they are not around to care for anymore.  It is truly sad when they grow up, but I can say I am handling it much better this winter than I did last.  Last winter was so sad for me, crying all the time, but I felt the same way here at my brothers home for months as well.  Now living with someone, had made me realize I want to live alone.  I can run around in my underwear if I want to, I can have people over anytime, sleep over, etc.  Yes, alone, nice.  I always said living alone can be nice as long as you have a strong support system, and you have a lot of loved ones around to hang out with.  
Blessings of Love and Light, Namaste! 

A New Home at the Beach!

  

Okay, here goes, it's true!  I am moving down the shore, I think I still am in shock.  It just happened quickly, within a few days.   After realizing I can not afford to be up North with my children, and can only afford a one bedroom, I decided to move down the beach.  My children don't see me that often anymore, so there isn't a reason for me to be up there, I have no true friends there either.  My family is my support system and some friends more South.  My niece is getting married and just bought a home down the Shore.  He new husband to be is renting out his condo now due to the move.  I text her to ask her if it was still available, and low and behold it was!  And now it is mine!  Wow, I am still shocked, I can move in in three weeks.  This just happened so quickly I wasn't prepared for it this fast, but I am happy and thrilled. 
The first day I got a little worried, being on my own again financially, but I got through that quickly, knowing I will be fine.  It still hasn't sunk in yet, that I actually will have my own home!  All for me, just for me myself, don't have to live with someone else, just me!  I don't mean my children, I would love to live with them.
I hung out with my spiritual buddy who actually lives at the beach I am going to.  He is an Energy Healer, a really special one, like John of God.  He has been working on getting me healthy, doing energy work on me, and other things as well.  He also is a medium, and spirits talk to him all the time.  He said we met for a reason, and that the spirits guided him to me at the Sound Healing Class we attended.  And we have been friends ever since, he knows my pain, how bad it has been, and how stuck I am in my life as to where I am living.  After his healing Sunday, and we went out to eat and sat a special, my energy has finally shifted.  I woke up in terrible pain Monday, had to ice my neck all day, but Monday night is when I found out I had a new place to live, and it's down the shore!  Wow, I think it will feel like I am on vacation all summer, living down there!  No more driving from up North to hit the beach on the weekends, no more insane driving up and down the Parkway and Turnpike.  My new friend says the beach is going to be my new home, that this is where I am suppose to be now.  Now it is time for a healing, time for me to just relax, enjoy the moment, the day, the sun, the ocean, the sand, the shells, the seagulls, the feathers, the rocks, and heal!  Yes, I am open and ready to receive such Love and Joy come into my heart and life!  My children have always told me to do what I want, and live where I want to live.  I always did say as soon as my son graduated, I was going to move away from Bergen County, never really liking it there.  So, now, since I am taking care of myself and doing what pleases me, supposedly my children will feel more happier, safe and secure too.  I surely hope so, I hope the loving, positive energy bleeds down to them, they so much desire true, unconditional love.  
And maybe, this time I will find true love, once and fall all, down the shore, where I love to be!  I am happy, finally, and have a smile on my face most of the day now, all because I will soon have a home of my own, with my wonderful pieces of energy around me, which I miss very much!  Its been nine months without anything, just my clothes, not even a dresser to put my stuff in!  Thank you God, Source, Angels, Jesus, Mary, Aliens, Ascended Masters and all, for saving me! 

Message from the Ascended Masters 2/17/2016

 

Here is an uplifting, awesome message from the Ascended Masters, The Archangels, and also, many Alien species.  Here is just one of their many messages given to us at this time, to help us all come into full consciousness: 

There is a grand operation in place to receive the funds which have been hidden from us.  There will be new governments, and the new funds will be distributed successfully to all intended parties.  These new governments will end our debt slavery, and terminate the decades long UFO cover up, and then we can make contact with you directly.

These are very interesting times.  Many prosperity programs  will be put in place, and will end poverty and ill health.  A new world wide Medical system is being born that uses both new and traditional modalities.  We are coming into full consciousness.

We are in the beginning to watching many miracles to come.  It is important to forgive those that have cast you into your current predicament.  This is important as this will help you easily remove the gene sequences that restrict you.  Once this is cleared, you will get a better idea of where you came from and where you are now going.  It is important to accept to where you are now in your life.  These exercises will help you to regaining the status of "physical Angels".  We are working to help prepare you for the grand transformation that awaits you, and you will reunite with your spiritual and space families.  What is happening on Gaia is indeed a miracle!  

Your new reality will be filled with many miracles.  You are emerging from lack, to abundance.  Move forward and help each other in your quests.  You become a positive visionary and capable of working true miracles.  This new reality is filled with blessings.  We are amazed at what you have done to permit all of this to happen.  Your positive vision has helped keep most of the darkness at bay.  Pat yourself on the back for making this happen as quickly as you have.  

In your new reality, you will dive into fulfilling into your mission, into numerous projects.  This is when we can truly teach you about your journey and history.  Everyone was manipulated and controlled by the Annanaci.  This special time is to free you from this, to be set free and learn how you got here.  Most of you are some form of starseed, taken centuries long journey.  You are to forge a new history, with a most sacred conclusion.  Prepare for what is ahead of you, a most glorious future.  Know many miracles will occur, and know the countless supply of never ending prosperity of Heaven are yours.  
Here is the video, which is much more entailed: 

Messages from the Arcturian Group

Hello Soul Family!  Today I would love to share some news for any and all of you who are interested in messages from the Arcturian Group, that is helping guide us each day to create Heaven on Earth, or many of you say the ascension.  This is a very exciting time to be her on Mother Gaia, we are all Warriors for sure, for choosing to come to Earth during this time.  The help from above come in many forms, God, Source, Angels, Arcturians, and the many other Alien beings helping us into oneness, all coming back to Source.  I have been listening to videos such as this one, for the past few months, channeled messages from all of them, telling us what to expect, how to prepare, and to stay focused on what we want to manifest!  It is also important for each of us, us light workers, to get this information out to any and all!  

Here is the message from the Arcturian Group, from February 21, 2016.  If you do not want to read the recap I have written, you can jump straight down to the bottom and listen to the message yourself, only ten minutes long, well worth it.  These messages will help anyone who still feels stuck, who is sad, who is suffering, who doesn't feel worthy, or with anything you are going through.  These messages bring hope to me always, knowing there truly is a bigger reason why we are here!  Namaste, Peace, Love, Light and Blessings to all! 
Arcturian Group:
We see you aware and growing more each day.  It is a time of celebration on this side as we observe the light of mankind becoming forever more bright. These times have been anticipated eagerly by all of us on this side working with Gaia and her people. 
Know that you are loved immensely and honored for the courage and bravery you show in the midst of so much turmoil and struggle arising to be cleared at this time.  We want to speak of the gains in your journey, because many of you believe nothing has changed.  Without you realizing it, your new consciousness has already become your ordinary.  Take a moment to see where you were a year ago, and you will see how much you have grown.  You have moved to new levels of awareness.  Some still believe a powerful religious experience must take place or you are not evolving, this is not true, it is one step at a time.  Each step bringing you forever forward to a higher state of consciousness.  Some will have powerful experiences, others will not, but this is not proof.
It is awareness time, physical, emotional and mental awareness.  What are we aware of on each of these levels?  We may still be holding old patterns with old and finished energy.  We are all evolving to oneness with Source!!! We can not be divine consciousness and a victim of the body.  What are you creating?  What do you want to create?  The body does not govern you, you govern it.  
You are divine consciousness, and therefore, complete and whole in every way.  State an intention to find the solution that closely resonates with your energy.  Go within, listen and then take whatever steps you are guided to take.   Listen, and follow through, Spirit will guide you!  When you find yourself reacting to a person, place or thing, and judging it as good or bad, it indicates an issue in cellular memory needing recognition.  Reactions are gifts, not to be pushed aside with guilt or repression, but to make you aware of issues needing deeper examinations.  Emotions from past anger can reappear even though so very long ago.  This really shows your spiritual growth to go inside deeper and more completely.  Realize, release, and move beyond the experience!  (Wow, that easy!) Powerful experiences leave an imprint in cellular memory and continue to manifest as fears, attractions, etc. until cleared. Just focus on your Dreams.  
MUCH OF WHAT YOU ARE NOW SPIRITUALLY RESOLVING, YOU HAVE CARRIED WITH YOU FROM MANY OTHER LIFETIMES, BUT ONLY IN THIS LIFETIME WERE YOU EVOLVED ENOUGH TO ADDRESS.  
Awareness of the mental body, means taking time to think of everything you feel to be true.  Go within and feel how you truly feel about it, not what your belief system was.  Examine your belief system, as it may have changed, and you may want to detach from a former group, but you have outgrown them.  If you stay, this will only stagnate you.
THE WINDOW ON EARTH FOR ASCENSION IS NOW.  We remind you of the importance of self examination, it is a powerful tool for discovering beliefs you may still be holding. You are ready to pull aside the curtain and embrace the realities behind the material things.  Some, after discovering God, believe once saved, will do nothing and wonder why their life will fall apart.  This must become your attained state of consciousness before it can pour outwardly. 
 It is important to have quiet time once a day, as you contemplate in rest in truth, after stating your intentions, and sending light to yourself, your chakras, and the world.  You will be intuitively guided to other actions as well, because in silent awareness you become receptive.  This is the evolutionary journey, and these are the footsteps.  
If you have not already done it, state your intention to evolve, to clear, and move beyond any obsolete cellular memory.  Withdraw attention from all the third dimensional hype that constantly bombards you.  Become your own authority, TAKING BACK THE POWER YOU IGNORANTLY GAVE AWAY, AND BE WHO YOU ALREADY  ARE!

Finally Speaking to My Ex and Letting Go

Wow, I did it!  I finally got the balls to talk to my ex, which I have been wanted to do for about a year now.  A few years after our divorce he blocked my phone number, and wouldn't ever speak to me.  He supposedly hated me because he didn't want the divorce, and I went back to Court very often to fight for custody of my kids which I lost in the divorce. It has been fourteen years now since we have been apart.  
I drove to his office, parked my car on the main street, and got out of my car, and just stood there wondering what to do.  I had to keep telling myself, just go inside, just go inside.  I finally walked into his office and told his receptionist that I was his ex wife, and wanted to speak to him, if he would see me.  I told her he many not want to see me, and if not, that's okay, I would leave.  She explained he had just stepped out for a few minutes, but would be right back.  I thought of leaving once again, but talked myself into sitting down and waiting.  Then I hear the receptionists telling the Doctor that someone is here to see him!  She didn't even tell him who it was, and as he walked into the waiting area, he looked at me, and shook his head back and forth a few times, in total shock.  He turned away and started to walk to the back of his office, and I said to the girls, I guess he doesn't want to talk to me.  They told me to follow him, which I did.   He brought me to a room where there was a couch and a TV, I was feeling uncomfortable and confused. 
He sat down and I started explaining how sorry I was for what happened to us, that it wasn't only his fault.  I told him I wish it didn't end the way it did.  He was cold at first, and closed down.  Then, bam, he started getting hot, letting off lots of steam about everything!  I was surprised and shocked.  After about five minutes of apologizing, which helped open his heart, he started yelling about so many things.  He brought up about the divorce, why I went back to Court, why I hired an attorney that was out of County!  He told me he wired my entire home when he moved out!  What? Wow? That's just crazy!!  
He started off with telling me what a bad mother and house keeper I was, telling me I didn't even cook dinner for my kids!  I told him he was crazy and wrong, I always cooked.  I would even bake all the time, even baking Banana bread for his brother sometimes!  He must have been talking about his current wife, but reflecting that onto me.  He said the Judge took the kids away from me because I was a bad Mother, that the therapists thought I was crazy, and DYFS took the children away from me for a week!   This is all so untrue, a lie he made up and convinced himself, and told the children this, all so he didn't have to face the truth of what he did.  Of what a horrible thing he did to his children and wife.  So mean and painful.

He said I told him at my son's High School graduation that I stilled loved him and wanted him back! WTF?? Where the heck did he get that from?  How could he twist that in his head?? Oh my!  I started laughing, and told him I never said that, I congratulated him on the birth of his daughter, trying to make peace.  He told me the children were scared shit that I was going to yell at him!  Hello, wake up call, it's the other way around!  They were worried he was going to flip out on me.  He actually screamed for over an hour, so hot his neck was turning red.  I should have told him to stop, breathe and calm down, but didn't, I just tried to listen to him vent.  

He insulted our children, which shocked me, explaining how badly they did in College, and how they do nothing for him around the house and never did. Big fat lie!! I remember how my son had to go to his house on the days he was with me to help his dad with the pool, the yard, the lawn furniture, the deck, the snow, and more!  And my daughter who lives there now is like Ms. Mom, shes a great Mother and housekeeper, I am very proud of her.  She takes care of his house now, the food shopping, and cares for her three year old sister all the time.  Wow, all he did was complain about everyone and everything.  So very negative he is, the children were so right, it's so very sad. 
He yelled about how his family was never there for him, and how they lied and said they were always there for him after the divorce and when he had his new baby.  He explained that he and his wife will probably divorce.  He praised her for taking care of his Mother daily, and the kids said this was not true!  
At one point he sat down and tears came to his eyes, and I knelt down in front of him, touched his hand and told him I felt bad for him, and will always care about him.  When I went to leave he mentioned something about him never going backwards, and I said that is not why I came, to get back together.  I wanted to clear the air, let go, and make peace.  This has been holding over my head for a very long time, and I needed to make resolution for myself, and try to get to him about his health, and clear the air for all of us.  
I felt so badly for him I hugged him when I left, he wouldn't look at me.  I told him to look me in the eyes and he would not, and then I left.  As I got into my car, tears were rolling down my face, feeling badly about the things he said, the way I treated him.
I went back and picked up my son for dinner.  I wasn't going to tell them, but I was so upset, my head was spinning, so much was said that I needed to process.  When I explained what was said to my son, he basically told me the opposite.  Mostly everything my ex said to me was a lie, a lie, and to make me feel badly for him.   He is so out of it, he doesn't even know what reality is, he goes in and out when it is convenient for him.  He twists and manipulates everything you say, to blame you and benefit him.  It was like a spark from the past, as I remembered he always did this to me, trying to tell me it was my fault not his, and then I would almost believe it, question it, feeling confused.  Wow, he hasn't grown one bit, and has gotten worse, I hate to say.  Wow, how I forgot this about us!  I am so glad I forgot, and so glad he reminded me!  
I didn't like when he insulted the children, and I stuck up for them, explaining how much we are to blame for their life, their pain, their behavior, look at what we did to them.  Look at what he did to them by taking them away from me!  Not letting them sleep at my home during the school week for years, I cried and cried.  He even wired my house during that time, how dare him!  I am truly angry and upset about this, what is wrong with him?  Is his pain and suffering now Karma?  And I always hate to say this, but he truly was responsible for my suffering and my three children's suffering by splitting us up, and ripping them away from me!  It was so unfair, so unfair, I get so angry when I remember that as well, that is why I have to let it go and forget.  Because they say it was all lessons learned, all pre planned before our birth, all agreeing to this together.  Wow, that is a crazy theory I know, but I believe it.   I just want it all to end, the pain and suffering for me, my children, and all of us.  Peace, Peace on Earth.  
I am so glad I spoke to him, and now I truly can see what my children are dealing with.  So sad, so sad it is.  I need to make some cash fast so I can get my kids out of there!   It was great talking to my son, he sees things so clearly, and was right about everything.   
So, now I feel great I had closure, and can walk away from that part of my life.  I feel less attached to Bergen County now, and can walk away easier.  I think this is going to help me with moving on, moving ahead to find that true love who is out there, just waiting for me! Thank you, Amen.

Moving Down the Shore

Okay, so I finally made a major decision about where to live.  I have been contemplating moving up North to be with my children, to get a place large enough for us.   But, I just realized I don't have enough income to do that.  I can only financially now afford a one bedroom for myself.  
I lived up there last winter in a one bedroom with myself and was so terribly depressed.  To be up North for my children is great, but only if I see them once or twice a week, not once or twice a month.  They don't want to see me all the time anymore since they all moved out, they are figuring out themselves, and don't want to hang out as a family as much anymore.  It's sad for me to accept I can't afford a place for my children and myself.  But, if I can not, there is no sense in me being up North.  
I have been contemplating moving down the shore last year when my kids moved out, but changed my mind, missing my kids so much, running back up there.  Which I did, in that apartment, and hated it, and my children barely came to visit.  The beach always calls me all summer long, especially the weekends when everyone is off.  Imagine to be able to live down the shore and not ever having to drive there again?  Wow, how awesome and wonderful is that, especially that I have been complaining about driving so much now.  How can I not be happy in May when the weather is warm, and I can walk to the beach?? Hello!  And to be able to do that all year long, a dream come true.  I suppose I never thought I would have the opportunity to live down the shore because my children and family is up North, and Central Jersey.  I think now that is why my job and house rental fell through last summer, because I wasn't meant to live up there now.  Since the summer, I have been at my brothers home, which is definitely a struggle for sure, but always trying to stay positive.  I moved in with him, because I had no where to go, and have been deciding what to do and where to go.  
So, I just started looking at places down the shore, and I can get a one bedroom pretty inexpensive and only a few blocks from the beach!  How awesome is that?  I was looking at Ocean Grove, Bradley Beach, Avon and Long Branch.  Then I realized my niece and her family go to Long Branch beach because she lives there now, and I have another friend there.  Why go to another beach to lay alone on the beach again, when I always visit this niece at the beach with her boys anyway.  So, I think I will be happier in Long Branch, most times when I hit the beach I hang out with them anyway, this way I will already be there!!
Looking forward to this new transition in my life, thank you God and the Universe for sure!

So it's Valentine's Day Today

Love, so today is the day to remember Love! <3 How crazy it is that we need a day to fall in Love all over again!  I love it, I love the remembering of Love, and realizing how nice the world will be when we do this daily, we remember the Love.  We remember who we love, who is in our life to help support us, who is always there for us.  We remember the special people who have crossed our paths, and thank them.  We remember our family, our friends, and thank them for connecting again, and for opening their hearts to love. It is a time to remember all the blessings we have to be grateful for, all the love that surrounds us. 
A time to forgive ourselves and others.  

I don't know about you, but for me, my heart seems to be opening more each day.  I see everyone as pure love, and extension of myself and the Universe, all as one.  With all the changes that are being created on earth, this is what is happening to all.  It is a very easy time now to turn to love, because the light is all around us, more now than ever before!  Just be aware, stay focused on Love and not fear!  Fear, the total opposite of Love, and both can not exist at the same time.  Love flows, source energy flows, fear stops this flow.  The faucet is either love or fear, take your pick.  Just be aware where your thoughts flow, and switch them to love and understanding, and non judgement.  To understand our brother, and not judge him for his pain, to know we all have made poor choices.  I know I can not insult another for their choices, as I have made beyond bad choices, and my children ended up suffering from them as well.  I use to focus on all the mistakes I made and wished I made better choices, but I finally let go of that.  I did this for years, and it is such a sad place to be.  Thoughts still come up, and I work through forgiving myself, and focusing on the now, what is in my life now to Love and be grateful for.  We need to forgive ourselves, forgive ourselves for our past choices, we did the best we could, lessons were learned, and we are here now.  Be here in the now, in the moment, in Love and Blessings.  
If you are alone, reach out to love.  Reach out to those who love you unconditionally for support, for someone just to listen, to know you are loved.  Just stop and feel that Love in your heart, literally in your heart.  Imagine that Love flowing out of you as a beautiful white light, extending out to all.  Love and Light.  Light is what we truly are.  It is all around us if we stay focused on the love and light.
If you don't have a honey to be with today, as I do not, take the time to do what you Love all day!  Take a bath, color, paint, draw, write, bake, call your friends, write special Love notes to others, research something you have wanted to, anything, do anything that makes you feel good, anything you love, to show yourself how much love you have.  We are all here at this time for a very special reason, to create major world change, and it all starts with loving ourselves.  So, it is very important to start within! 
I wish all of you, and the world, love today, and everyday.  I wish we all become more aware and conscious of the Love that surrounds us, be aware, and give it a try.  I love you! <3 

Time for Love Today

It is time, time for this time to end, to come to love and light.  For the world to come to a state of heaven on earth, this is what keeps me going now.  All the messages from the Angels, Jesus, the Aliens, etc., is about love.  How the rest is just an illusion, it's all love, but we forgot.  Time now is about letting go of the past and forgiving ourselves, coming back to love.  To loving ourselves, forgiving ourselves, and opening our heart to love.  This is the way, the only way to have peace on earth for humanity, one by one.  
I can tell you that since January my heart has been so much more open to love.  I feel so much more love in my heart, feeling it extending out to others that I meet.  I pray and meditate on love and light, on God's light coming through my being, healing my body and soul.  I focus on the light any time I can remember, and send light to my loved ones who are suffering, especially my children and their Father.  The love I have is unconditional, loving each person for who they are, for being a part of them, together, connected always.
The journey has just begun for me to find peace on earth.  I am focusing on what I want now in my life, the home I want to have so my children can come back and live with me.  I feel so badly for them, how bad it is living with their Dad, him being so unhealthy, and I feel disappointed with myself that I do not have a home for them now.  Then, it takes me back to the past, on how many mistakes I made, and moved out of a home I owned, an awesome home with a built in pool.  Life would have been so different if I stayed there, I would own it now, me and the kids wouldn't have had to move so many times, causing me to feel so unsafe and lost.  I still go back to the past, and have to force myself out of there, knowing I cried over it for years, and need to let go and move on.
I can go from hope and faith, to sadness from my past and where I am now, in the matter of minutes.  It is a journey I am ready to change to positive, to love, to gratitude, to hope, to faith, to miracles occurring to send me so much money I can have the home I want, with my family around.  The become the author I have wanted to become, and to fall in love with that special man.  Yes, I can't wait to fall in love, I want a family again, I wish I had the original family I had, and wish I never lost them.  But, I did, life turned out nothing like I would have wanted, so sad being alone now, without my own home, when I owned one and lost it due to poor decisions.  So sad not having a home for my children now that they need me, need me to have a safe home for them to feel loved and nourished in.  So, God, if it is meant to be, send me a home to live in with my children so we can all feel safe and loved.  I love you, I love me, I love all, you are all my brother!  Remember that, we are all one! 

My Birthday Blessings of Love

                                                                        

Wow, I am still glowing from my Birthday celebrations, celebrations I planned for myself.  I always seem to be the planner, and now I don't mind at all.  Since I am no longer living with my children, and been pretty sad, I decided to make plans for my Birthday, and celebrate with my friends, and so I did.

Friday night I made plans to get together with my old Sherwood Ave friends, at a Portuguese Restaurant in South River.  Two of my friends had to cancel, so it ended up being only me and my two friends.  That did not matter though, as the three of us had a great time, and the Sangria was awesome too!  My two friends didn't know each other well, but I knew they would click right away, as they are very much alike, very kind, giving and love with an open heart.  We talked about old times, new times, things we have been through, and times to look forward too.  My girlfriend's daughter was working on drawing me a picture of a young girl in bed, with an Angel above her.  Well, she handed it to me when she arrived, and chills ran through my body, they were so cute!  I told my friend, and she was so happy.  She explained her daughter was really excited about this project, and now I can't wait to connect with her and take it to the next step, publishing!!!

Then, on Sunday morning, I had brunch in Hoboken with my children, and my daughter's boyfriend who I love.  It was a wonderful morning, we had such a nice time.  Now, we have a new person in our family, and I love it!  This is all new for us, as my daughters are all grown up, and this being the first "serious" boyfriend.  They have plans to marry, and I couldn't be happier for both of them.  They are so much alike, and are great team players running his Dog Training Service.  I showed the children the illustrations for my book, and they thought they were cute.  We talked about many things, and it seems their Dad always comes up, in concern.  He is not in a good place, and he has a young daughter he has to care for.  Everyone has tried to inter vein and help him, to no avail.  I keep saying how I want to talk to him, maybe I can get through to him.  But every time I mention this with my children, they tell me he won't want to listen to me because,"he hates you Mommy".  He hates me because he didn't ever want a divorce, my daughter tells me.   Even though he is the one that filed for that divorce, not me.  He moved out because I wanted him to because he was yelling at me, and treating me pretty badly for years.  He did say if he moved out this time, he wouldn't come back, that he couldn't do this any longer.  I understood that, but cried the day I read those divorce papers on the front lawn in Paramus.  We had alot of love for one another, and were College sweethearts, each other's first true love.  I feel for him now, realizing I did things wrong too, and want to help him.  He will always be the father of my three children, and I will always have a connection to him due to all the love we had for thirty years.  It's so nice to see my daughter's relationship growing with her boyfriend, and being around them is really nice, great energy they both have.  Being with my son was great too, he has great energy and always seems so happy, he has a great spirit for sure.  My other daughter couldn't make it, and she was missed.  I will get together with her another time.  

After leaving Brunch on Sunday, I decided to visit my brother and his wife and kids.  We went to grab a bite to eat, and then I left to get home to watch the Super Bowl.  I love hanging out with my sister in law and her daughter, we are close and they are family to me. I know they are always there for me, if they can be.  

                                                

Then on Monday, the day of my Birthday, my sister in law took me out to lunch, to a really fancy Restaurant.  It was so beautiful, and so special, time went so fast we didn't even get the chance to talk about everything!  There is so much going on with all of us now, and it seems as if time is just flying by as well.  My ex came up too, and she felt the same, that maybe I could be the one to get through to him, and not let my children discourage me.  It would be tough to get to him because he doesn't ever want to see me or talk to me, so I would have to go to his office and pray he would see me.  I have asked God if I am suppose to help him, then show me how, show me the way to get to him.  

Then, my spiritual guy friend down the shore, took me out to eat, and did a healing on me as well.  He is a new, great healer, being compared to John of God.  He has worked on me a few times, and my pain is still pretty intense, isn't better at all.  He has told me he has healed so many others, and I ask why am I not one of them yet?? We were going to go to a Sound Healing in Belmar, but due to the bad weather, we decided not to.  I got home early and was happy to be here in my temporary home for the night.  I do not like being outside at night in the cold, so I stay in and hibernate as much as I can.  I think that's what winter is for, hibernating, self reflecting, soul searching, digging deep and figuring it all out.  As long as you are happy and content, you can stay in all the time.  When you are sad, it could be very difficult keeping your spirits up staying inside all day.

So, I must say I am so very grateful today.  I have many memories, and am so glad I made the plans I did for my day.  It was truly special, all of the celebrating I did with each person, has touched my heart in many ways.  I feel so grateful and blessed to have the special, wonderful, caring, loving people I have in my life.  For today I am not sad about my living situation, nor sad about not living with my children anymore and living far away, nor sad about my financial situation and my pain.  Today I am feeling so happy and blessed to love, to have love, and to be loved.  

I hope everyone, everywhere has someone special to love them unconditionally always.

What Makes You Happy??

Self Love, are we all becoming more aware of finding a life that makes us happy?  Yes, looking for happiness in this lifetime, what's the sense of living each day if we can't be happy and follow our joy?  So many people think they have no choices, they are stuck in life and their job.  But, we do have choices, it takes courage to follow our hearts, and re evaluate our lives if we are not happy.  To think about what we do want.  And to have hope and faith to know we can have what we want, and stay focused upon it.  To know we deserve it, to know that it is already ours because we are a piece of God, here to shine our light so bright!  We must believe, believe in ourselves, and if we do not, ask other's what they love about us.
I have so many dreams I have not accomplished yet, and I will make every effort to manifest them.  As my Dad said, it's all in our minds, everything is, and we can create anything we want.  
So, here I go.  All of my friends and family know I want a house on the Beach, a house on the lake, a while Porsche Cayan, I want to become a child's author, and adult author, and want to run a Yoga/Healing Center, wanting to save the world, one person, one child at a time.  I also would love to help the animals, open up some private shelters also.  That was always my daughter's dream, so sweet and caring she is for those animals!

Having to Put Our Dog to Sleep

It is crazy that we adopt animals, love them to death, all knowing they will die someday.  It's like we do this to ourselves, all knowing they will not be with us forever, but we don't think about this when we adopt!  We never think of the day they will be ill, or get hurt, and have to leave us.

This dog was not mine, she was my brother's, a Golden Retriever, Zoey.  She wasn't feeling well for the past month, and had a fever on and off.  My brother was in and out of the vet with her, trying to figure out what was wrong.  She also was having problems walking, and getting up and down, and had a leg injury years ago.  The vet finally took xray's of her leg, and decided to xray her lungs as well.  He found a large mass the size of an apple on her lungs, feeling it may be cancerous.  My brother came home that day, and knelt down by his dog, and started to cry.  My heart broke for him, and didn't even know what to do to comfort him, as I put my hand on his shoulder.  This is always really tough, death.  

My brother is the oldest of six boys and myself, and he does not show much emotion when he is sad.  When I went to attend a friend of mine's grandchild's funeral, my brother told me he wouldn't have been able to go, because he couldn't handle it.  I didn't understand that at the time, knowing for me I don't think about it, I try to be there for others if needed in a crisis, and pray, breathe, and ask God for support.  It's all about supporting one another on this earth, especially through rough times.  

So, the vet was going to do a sonogram of the mass in about a week, to see what was going on better.  But, as soon as she was diagnosed and came back from the vet, she stopped eating.  She became very weak, and could barely walk, and was becoming unresponsive all within a few days.  She started to hang out in my room, staying here, and not wanting to leave, and I didn't understand why she didn't want to stay in the Living Room with my brother.  The poor baby, I spent much time on the floor with her, petting her, sending her Reiki Energy wishing it would save her, and telling her it was okay, she would be okay either way.  
We had a major snowstorm over the weekend, and I stayed in all day.  She laid on my floor, and I pet her and spoke to her.  By Sunday, she was getting weaker, and starting to shake while she tried to walk.  While petting her, I felt she was telling me she was done, and she was very weak.  I spoke to my brother about how she was acting, and told him he should take her to the vet.  He explained he was going to stop at the vet the next day to get some medication to stimulate her appetite.  Okay, I wanted him to take her in so the Doctor could check her and see what he felt, but I just went with it.  But, by Tuesday, when I went into the bathroom, Zoey came out of my room and I heard a thump.  It was her, she had fallen flat in the hallway, with her legs spread wide open, and I have never seen her lay this way before.  That was when I said I have to talk to my brother again, while looking into her eyes.  She was suffering, she was hurting, and it just wasn't fair for her for us to do nothing.
So, when I came home Tuesday night, my brother was still in the living room, asleep on the couch.  I woke him up as I walked in, and I asked how Zoey was.  "Not good", was his response.  So, I spoke to him about how much she was suffering, and is so very weak that she could barely walk, and how she hasn't eaten in days, and how she barely responds to me when I call her.  I told him he should take her to the vet and put her to sleep.  Well, he wasn't happy to hear that in the least.  He got somewhat upset and told me no, he wasn't going to do that, and it is his dog.  I told him he was being selfish, making her suffer like that.  Then, I went in my room to go to bed.

I left a note for him that night explaining to him that I didn't mean to upset him last night and that I knew how hard this was.  Well, when I woke up the next morning, my brother was home and did not go to work.  When I went out my door, there he was sitting on his couch in the Living Room crying.  I sat next to him and started to rub his back with my hand, telling him I was sorry.   He felt that I was right about Zoey, and explained how hard this was for him, and he didn't even know what to do.  I told him I would help him any way I could, and he wanted me to call the vet, so I did, we had an 11:30 appointment.  He said he couldn't go in with her, we could have the workers get her from his Jeep and take her in.  I told him I would stay with her, so we would take two cars.  

When the time came to leave, my brother had to pick Zoey up from the Living Room, and carry into the back of his Jeep.  It was hard for him to pick her up, but finally got her up.  When we arrived at the Vet's office, my brother couldn't even open the back of the Jeep while we waited, and I felt badly that I could not comfort Zoey. As we were standing outside the truck waiting, I looked inside to see her, and asked him if he wanted to open the back, and he said no.  So sad, so sad, this one is tough.
Two workers came out to our car with a stretcher to take Zoey inside.  I went in with them and went into the room with her and stayed there.  It took the Doctor at least a half hour to come in, but this gave me the opportunity to be with her longer.  
I prayed with her, called in God, Jesus, Mary, Archangels, Ascended Masters, my guides, etc. and asked for them to watch over her in her passing, and I told her to go to the light.  I told her it would be okay, she would be free of pain, and would be so very happy.  Of course I was petting her the entire time, sitting right next to her face.  She was a beautiful dog, a light haired Retriever.  She was so happy and playful, but demanded attention.  

After the Doctor came in and left, I cried, and stayed with her for awhile.  I did not watch when the Doctor did what he had to, I was focused on Zoey, petting her, loving her, telling her how much I loved her, how much we loved her.  It was hard to say goodbye and leave, but after about ten minutes I got the strength to be able to.  I got in my car and drove back to the house, and to my surprise my brother had already taken the crate down, and was vacuuming.  I told him I would mop, and he left to go to the Bar down the street where he knows everyone.  It was pretty sad being in the house without her, every time I walked into my room I was looking for her.  

It's so crazy to me how life can change drastically in one moment, one moment she was here, and bam, then she was gone.  We weren't prepared, she seemed fine, happy and strong, never did I think she would pass while I was staying at my brothers home.  
It shows you how important it is to appreciate all around you, everyone, and how we need each other here.  We comfort each other in pain, so not to have to do alone.  We have one another to laugh with, so not to have to laugh alone.  Life is meant to share, I hope you will get out and share yours with your loved ones as well.

Feeling Positive Once Again

Finally have been feeling more positive, what a miracle that is.  Soon, I should be able to move out in a few months, and need to get a place where at least one of my kids can stay.  My two children say it's pretty tough living with their Dad, and I feel like a failure that I couldn't keep a place for us to live in, a home, as I have owned two of them myself.  I have made some very bad choices, which has left me here, here feeling alone, with nothing, not a home to call my own.  Thank God for family, as that is what saves me, seeing and being with my family, my kids, my sister in laws, nieces, great nephews, and brothers.  So yes, I am blessed and have much to be grateful for, for all of them being in my life.  There have been many times I have felt abandoned and all alone without help from many people, but that is passing.  I have realized I always acted strong, like I was fine, and didn't ask for help much.  Now I realize how much I need it, being in pain daily not being able to do much, has made me reach out and ask.  Then I realize, as important as it is to give, it is just as important to receive.  I have been opening my heart to receive this past year, by being aware of it and making it one of my mantras.  They say it is a cycle, a flow, a give and take, giving and receiving.  So, if you are like me start being open to receive, and see the love that flows into your heart, that generates back out again, it is love, it is beautiful.

There is so much happening with the energies around us now, and it is important to go within our hearts, and see love, feel love, and be love.  Love ourselves first, set boundaries, pamper ourselves, and then the love grows and expands outward to all.  As each one of us is lifted up, it raises the vibration of all, the collective consciousness we all have.  Just by each one of us choosing love, loving ourselves, forgiving ourselves, lifts up the entire group of Mother Gaia!  So beautiful to remember when you are sad and low, we need everyone now to have hope and faith in love, in the world, as we are going to see peace on earth soon.  We are in for major changes now, changes with the entire earth and how things work.  And this all excites me so much, as I don't have much else around me to excite me!  

I truly see now what my main purpose here is, to spread the word of love, of spirituality, of oneness, of Peace on Earth.  So very interesting this will be.  I started a website, Youaretrulythelight.com, and it is about learning to love ourselves.  Ways to uplift us, comfort us, ways to help heal ourselves through essential oils, crystals, energy healing and more.  I am excited about this new journey, but need a miracle of healing to my body.  My body needs a true healing in order for me to shine my light so bright, and send that light out to others, as I am ready to give, and receive.