Valentine's Day!

Even though I do not have a partner currently, Valentine's Day is still a day to Love and enjoy, to Love yourself, and appreciate everyone in your life, like your three beautiful children.  My son was working at Starbucks, so I decided to see him in the morning for some tea.  My daughters met me there, and I didn't realize they were meeting me because it was Valentine's Day and they had a rose for me!  So sweet, I was actually surprised and touched!  My son was happy too, it was wonderful to be around all three of them again, as these times are rare now.  We had the opportunity to catch up on things, and my heart was filled with the love and connection I need from my children now, living without them.  The girls left, and I stayed awhile longer with my son.  I bought them some socks and small boxes of candies, which I forgot to bring because I ran out without stopping to think and ground myself first.  

After coming home I decided to make some rice pudding for myself, and some banana bread!  Two special treats for Valentine's Day.  This was the first time ever making rice pudding, but have wanted to for awhile.  I used the crock pot, so I did not have to worry about watching it on the stove. The pudding turned out a little bland, but tasted much better when I added Agave to my bowl.  The Banana Muffins burnt, because I wasn't watching them closely enough, and never baked in this oven before.  This oven is very hot, and bakes things very fast.  But, I did have a loaf in the oven as well, and that came out perfectly.  The Banana Bread is gluten free, that is why I like to bake more now also, so I can have certain foods gluten free.  

After baking, I sat down to paint.  I have been so creative since I have been here, which is only two weeks.  It seems to put me in a good place, one where I do not have to worry about the future, just being in the creative moment feels good.  The canvas that I was going to pain a Sunflower on, transformed into a winter scene.  I have been wanting to pain some winter scenes, something I haven't even drawn.  I always draw the same themes, flowers, trees, and hearts.  So, I sat down and painted two trees in a snow storm.  I painted two innately, and then realized that was a good thing, because in Fung Shui, if I want to be with someone, everything should be seen in pairs, and usually I only draw one tree! 

I woke up sad again today missing my children, missing my family that I gave up.  I am feeling I am here, alone, because of the choices I made in the past by leaving my husband and loosing my children as I did.  I cried for years over them not being with me every single day, and not being allowed to sleep at my home during the School week.  These feelings bring me back to there, to loosing my family, and being alone, and wanting nothing else in this world but my family back.  I am so not complete, so not whole, wondering how this is exactly where I need to be in my growth.  Because this is not where I want to be at all, without my family, without a family, totally alone.  

So, what do I do now?  How do I find another family?  Will the Universe send it to me?  Do I just put out what I want because we can all manifest anything, and allow the Universe to bring it to me?  Well, this I can do, it seems easy enough, and it is free, so I can go with it!  We are not suppose to ask "how", that is the Universe's job, not ours!  That just makes it 100 times easier I say.  Just ask for what I want, put it out there, and it shall come, just because that is how it works.  Just because that is one of the laws of the Universe.  And, when we let it go, we tap into the constant flow of energy in the world, that Source Energy, and it is like traveling down the stream of non resistance, not running against it!
Love and Light sent your way, today and always be free!!