So, today I went to look at a two bedroom place from the man I met through Craigs List. He was renting his basement apartment, which I loved, and then had this two bedroom for rent as well. I would much rather have my own place anyway, and am not fond of basements either. Well, when we walked in the place was flowing over with boxes and boxes of who knows what. It became obvious that they were hoarders, and the man I was with became upset about this. They had only lived there a year, and destroyed the place with their clutter and lack of cleanliness, and the kitchen was filthy. It was very sad that anyone lives this way. After we left, the gentleman was upset, and I didn't blame him one bit. We have become friends, just talking back and forth with the place to rent, and connected through our divorces and children. He is a nice, kind, smart man and I enjoy our conversations. I wouldn't take it any further than that with him, he isn't even divorced from his second wife yet, and don't feel that way about him. But, a great friend for sure.
After that we went to eat, spoke about his tenants, and his children and my family also. After we left, I got in touch with my sister in law, and she invited me over. It was awesome to see her and connect, not seeing her for over a year. My brother married a woman who looks somewhat like me, thin and blonde, and has a personality like me, and I love her. Although they are divorced, we still love each other and enjoy one anothers company. We always were a good support or each other. We had such a nice time, I miss having special woman to talk to and hang out with. We lost touch for probably two years because there were a lot of changes going on in her life. She remarried to a man I met, and they are so in love with each other, it is beautiful. We talked about many intense things that have happened to her and her family, and she has been through so much. She has always been a giver, like an Angel here taking care of everyone. She has finally let go of the things she can not change, like I have, and is taking care of herself, and her family first. She is blessed to have married again, and when I left and got in my care, I felt lonely, wishing I was married, and had a man and family to cook for, like she was doing. I loved being married, I loved being a mother and a housewife. I love the homey thing, caring for everyone and feeling that loving, unconditional bond that a family provides. A family is like having that center nucleus, that intense unit, that no matter what you have that family to give you strength and support in this life. I didn't even realize I had that, and felt that, until it was taken away. I realize that so much more now, your family is like your heart beating, all connected as one. I am blessed to have the family I do, my children, my brothers, my ex and his family that I shared my life with when we did. I have memories with them that I will never forget, we hung out with each other and our children pretty much every day. We loved each other, we were a lot alike, we were all stay at home moms, so we got together all the time! I was blessed to have them and to have the opportunity to have stayed home and raise my children while I did.
It will be interesting to see what the future holds for me, not even sure where I will end up living yet. I am not sure if I want to move into this place where the hoarders stayed, awful energy there. Going to bed I am sad about seeing this place like this, sad to see people could live this way, and wonder what the energy will be like when they leave. Well, I know what it will be like, I just hope we can get it all out by cleaning, cleansing, and saging all the time. I will see how I feel tomorrow, too stressed about it now.
Gotta run, my back is in a spasm, and I woke up in serious pain today, but had to run out to see this place, an hour south drive!
Love and Light!
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