Namaste ~
Boy, today I packed most of the day, taking each room apart at a time. I am taking my time, putting everything where it is suppose to go, getting very organized and releasing, letting go, and cleansing all at once.
I see now how everything is in perfect timing for myself and my children now. My daughters are moving out into their own place, this is wonderful for their growth finally, so they can feel they are independent, all grown up without me doing things for them anymore. I should actually be thrilled. I am so very proud of them, and can't wait to witness and be part of their transformation as well.
I have the opportunity to move out of Bergen County like I said I always wanted to. After searching all over the State, from the Beach to the Lakes, I decided I need to be by my family now, the ones I am close to for love and support. I will probably feel somewhat lonely at first, but it will be great and comforting to know I can visit my sister in law anytime to connect with someone I love. It will be awesome to be able to have anyone over for dinner that I want, meaning my family, because I will be 15 minutes from them and not an hour. This is a major difference for most people, and it will be fun to have others finally in my space. My space is going to be so calming, so healing, no one is going to want to leave. And I will do some of my work from home as well, so I can become financially abundant and buy my lake home and shore home, and have loved ones over all the time. And I can stay home and write and paint and draw and be blissfully happy. You know we can manifest anything, that is why we came here, to have what we want. Of course I also want to help everyone in their healing process, especially the children, but I will do that as well.
This move will give my body the opportunity to heal, not having to take care of anyone else, but me. That will be awesome, and I will do yoga and meditate even more than I do now. Actually this will give all of us the time to heal, to heal the past and the old wounds, and to have faith in the beautiful future my children have.
I also want to teach yoga and energy healing at the Community Center in the Complex I maybe be living in. I will have an automatic clientele with so many senior citizens around! I will be like Cameron Diaz in that movie, but I will be teaching them yoga, healing tools, and Angel Card Readings! I am so excited about this, I love to connect with like minded souls and share the wisdom I have been learning, and still am always. It is finally time for me to express myself, and get my work out there. I have been working on it and I know once I move everything will accelerate very fast, and I will be happy to be busy with stuff I simply love to do.
Many things in my life are ending at the same time, my alimony stopped, and my ex owes me a small amount of money, but after two years is finally going to pay me less than half, and most of it will be for the attorney I had to pay for two years. Bitter sweet, but I know this is such a letting go thing, and moving on thing, so it is perfect timing. I am moving out of the house I have been living in with my three children for the past four years. We have made many memories here. There were so many snowstorms last winter, and due to my pain, my daughters had to shovel almost daily, and I was very proud of them. I will never forget the fires we lit in the cold freezing days and nights along with the snow falling so magnificently. Memories make me sad and make me cry, knowing I will never have this type again. No more waking up with my daughters, I will be waking up alone every day, that will be the hardest for me. I love people, I loved being married and having that security of a family, knowing someone is always there for you no matter what. I met my husband at 17 years old, and we barely left each other, we were really connected from the start and always wanted to be together. That lasted 25 years, I was blessed to have that type of security with another human being, and didn't even realize it, just taking it for granted. We were so in love, and I will always feel connected to him, and know some day we will be part of each others lives again. I can not shake the feeling I have for the baby, who is a year and a half old. She is so beautiful, so lovely, and I just have this innate love for her too, its pretty crazy. She is the miracle that has opened up my ex's heart to love, it's amazing and wonderful. He now appreciates his daughters, realizing how important family is now that he truly needs their help with his daughter.
Yesterday I took a break from packing, I was pretty upset about the place I wanted to move into and the hoarders who live there. That really freaked me out, and when I went to bed, I didn't want any part of living there. It was really creepy and I figured with all of these problems, how will this happen. He was worried he wouldn't be able to get them out.
So, yesterday I took a ride to visit a new friend I met, John, who is the Crystal King. He has these amazing crystals, priced so low, and is such an amazing guy. He was selling some of his crystals at a woman's home, and he invited me there. I went to get out and see what was going on. His crystals were beautiful, and I finally bought my three largest stones, an amethyst, a citrine, and a selenite piece. They are all so beautiful, and such great prices, I couldn't pass them up. Last night was a full moon, and they had the opportunity to charge under it all night! It was awesome, and bringing them into the house today, they have such awesome energy, let's see how it affects the kids when they get home.
Waking up today I feel better about having a place to live, I am sure I will be able to move there, it just depends on when. But, I have at least four weeks left here, hoping they will be out by then, I am envisioning myself living there, with my furniture making the place look beautiful. I am trying not to worry about the finances, knowing I need some form of steady income very soon. I am going to start applying for some nanny positions down there, only for two or three days, but full days. That should bring me enough money in, then I can supplement with my spiritual work, to pay for the things I need to. I really didn't want to go back to being a nanny, but I am worried I will have to in order to keep up. I will see where this takes me, being open to all things. I would love to just illustrated my children's books, get them published, and just keep doing that, and creating the children's series I want to create. We will see where the Universe takes me, I am open to new possibilities, and know all things do not have to come through me!
Namaste
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