Woke up yesterday and today feeling like someone punched me in my upper back like I can barely breathe. It's a cold rainy fall day today, and that doesn't help. I have severe pain on the right side of my jaw too, so sharp and painful, along with the bad pain in my neck, under my skull feeling like knives are digging straight in. I have had this pain since my college days, so I have learned to push myself and function. Which I have learned now is not self loving. So, yesterday and today I stayed in the house, and today Cassie took out all the pictures and albums to look through and take what she wants. I sat with her and did some also, throwing lots out! It's such a great free feeling to let go and discard, to release and cleanse. It give you space to breathe new life in.
As I am sitting with my pain, I am asking the pain if it wants to tell me anything. It tells me to relax, things will work out just as they should. To be open to all possibilities. Many times when I ask this question, I do not even get a response. Yes, that is frustrating when I am looking for answers. So much pain, for so long, gets so very draining, and many times I have wanted to throw in the towel. But, then the sun shines the next day or two, and I am feeling better, stronger, and at ease. Ah, at ease, a new feeling for me. One of calming and relaxing, instead of running around crazy. I like the calmness, and have been doing some yoga each night because my neck, back and hips are so tight. It really helps to relax my body, my bodies first reaction to when I lay on my back is one large sigh, "Ahhhh". I rock my body back and forth in a ball, and stretch my hips and legs, and back. If feels great, and that is what I need to do daily to help heal myself. Self love, taking the time to do what you need to for yourself, not only for others. Knowing what you need, in body, mind and soul, and taking time to care for each part, in any way that calls upon you.
Many of us seem to be going through the same thing now, self nurturing, self love, learning to love ourselves unconditionally. To become whole with ourselves, that oneness, and then one with another. Namaste means, we are all one, all connected, it means I see the light in you that is in me, keeping us on that same thread of bright light. You are me, I am you, you are my brother. We are one, The Lion King said it well to Simba, we are all connected, we are all one.
Meditation is another self loving act for me now. All summer I would sit outside each morning, in the sun, and just breathe, and visions of so many things came to me. Visions of writing some children's books, and other things I need to accomplish. I also have many visions while I am in the water, either in the hot bath, or the shower, so many visions come to me about things to create, books for the children, reaching to them through programs in the School system.
When I went to the Ayurveda Practitioner, he had me take a few Indian herbs, and I have run out of them for awhile. I think I need to buy them again within the next few days, they help calm down my muscle spasms.
Tomorrow I have a course regarding energy work by Donna Eden, to add to the Reiki. I am excited, this work is a lot of movement with it, and I want to add this to the Yoga I want to teach to the Senior Citizens in the Adult Communities all over Monroe Township. It will be great to get them moving, and doing some energy work on themselves at the same time! Imagine how it will increase their life, their joy each day, their health, and bring them peace. This will be fun for me and allow me to connect with others like I need to now.
Namaste ~ Love to all always ~
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