So much has been happening so fast. It is Friday already and the week flew by. I was so fortunate to spend the day with my two wonderful nieces, and their boys, my GREAT nephews! My mom is no longer with us, and I am the only female left in the family, besides my sister in laws of course. It has always been important to me to stay close to the children, even when they grow up if they choose. And, to stay close to their children, my great nephews. I want to be part of my life, as I love being with my family as you already know.
My one niece and I were very close for years, and she had children, got busy and I do not get to see her as often. But she lives 20 minutes from the beach, loves the beach as I do, so now is the time to see her. Actually, she is the niece who I use to take to the beach alone when she was young, even five years old, along with her younger brother. I loved the beach, loved the kids, and would drive from North Jersey, pick them up in Central Jersey and head to the beach. I do not know how I had the energy to do that now as I look back, and I wonder why my sister in law didn't come with me as we were so close. I think it was also about giving her a break with the kids. Either way, I was very close to her growing up, and loved it.
Being with her, spending the day with her and her two sons was so awesome, so comforting, so loving. And, my other niece came, but this one I have been very close to for the past five years since she has moved in with my brother with her two boys when she was divorced. I was close to her when she was young as well, we always had a special connection. I know her boys well too, since I have been around them a lot since they were small, and they are only five and seven now.
We had an awesome day, the beach was perfect, not too hot at all. And the water was pretty warm for July and the kids and my niece swam in the ocean so much of the day. The kids all love the water, just like mine did, and it is so nice to see them riding the waves all day. I love the water as well, the waves are so much fun, it was just a little to chilly for me to dive into, but I did get in as much as I could. The water is so cleansing, so healing, and that is why so many of us flock there all summer long. Ahh, the fresh air, the sunshine, the ocean, so beautiful. But, I realize I do not enjoy it as much going alone anymore, I almost don't even want to. It is so much more fun for me to be with others on the beach, because I am alone so much of the time now.
After the beach we went back to my sister in laws home, showered, ate some healthy organic veggies from the CSA she is part of, and ran to the fair that was in town. When I got back to her house I was feeling sick, so drained, so nauseous from the sun, and barely drank any water all day. I had to sit down on the couch a few minutes and rest, and then the shower helped, even though I still felt so nauseous. But, I purged ahead, and went to the fair with them, knowing how precious these times together are for me, and how far and few between they are.
The fair was awesome too, it was huge, and there was so much to do. The boys were fun, we saw the bees, the pig races, got to pet the bunnies, and ate. I left before them, wanting to drive in the daytime and not in the night, as I have problems seeing in the darkness driving now.
Waking up the next day, it has left me filled with love, my cup is running over. Wow, to realize how important it is to stay connected to my family, to others, when I always just took it for granted. Because I was always with family, always with people, until my divorce. Then, after that, I turned into a hermit for years, stayed in except for taking care of the kids, and going to the gym. I totally lost sense of a support system, totally felt I didn't need anyone, didn't reach out to others and I guess they didn't reach out much to me either and stay connected.
But now that is all changing. I want others around, all the time, I want my home to be filled with the laughter of family, friends, loved ones, and especially children. It is amazing that I had to come to a place of feeling empty inside, to know how much I need to be filled, filled with the love from others. And that means staying connected, staying connected physically with the ones I love, and staying connected with my Soul Family on face book as well.
For today I am feeling lucky, I am blessed, I am free,
Namaste
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