So many thoughts going through my mind. Spending the day with one of my oldest and dearest friends in the world Monday was amazing for my spirit! Wow, just being with her, and talking to her for five hours was such a joy. I had no idea it was going to be such a wonderful feeling, to know someone else out there knows you so well, throughout your lifetime actually. What a sense of love and comfort that is to me, being in the place I feel now, so unconnected from others.
It was so exciting, her showing me her new home, which is Colonial of course, with a beautiful side porch where we had lunch. It was just so perfect, her touring me through her home, so happy, proud, and content. Each room we walked into, we stopped and talked and talked!! With the fireplace in the Living Room, and the window seats, built in bookcase, and master bedroom in the attic, with open staircases around, it is a beautiful, lovely home, so much like her!!
We spoke of all things, things that happened in the past, her new life with her new husband, and how they met, of course it was an online website. The Universe has been pushing me that way, yes, I do see the signs, and already started a profile on the site my friend just got married on. We talked about how long ago she was married and divorced, the guys she has seen. I spoke about the jerks I have been with, that is why I gave up on love years ago. I also spoke about the new work I want to do for abundance, my "spiritual stuff" I call it! Yes, I am owning it, and really awaken to realizing so many people around here are doing it for money. Only reading Cards, only doing Reiki, only being a Life Coach! Only becoming an author, just these things I want to do as well, because they are my first loves, my purpose here. The Yoga studio sounded like a good choice, after talking to her, but I never did bring up my first love to her, my love of writing. I did briefly bring up that I wrote some children's books, but that flew away with the clouds. I can teach children's yoga, and hopefully have a job lined up with my nieces friend for September. It will be great to start in anyway toward my path, toward the work I am truly meant to do, by touching so many lives. I know I am here to help make changes to others on such a broad spectrum, to touch so many lives, and now is the time. I know it, I feel it. I felt it when I was crying in that apartment over my life, that if this is all it has come down to, then there is not reason to be here. As there is so much more out there, and knowing deep down I have so much more to give, on such a larger scale.
When I got home at 7:30, I was so exhausted, I laid on the bed and passed out!! I woke up later that night to a call from my other close friend, and that made me happy. Happy to know people do care, and I am not alone in this world.
I woke up the next morning feeling so much better, lighter, freer, more sure of myself and my future, feeling more faith knowing everything will be okay. I am working on being where I should be, which has always been helping humanity as much as I possibly can. It is not a coincidence that I am one of seven children, six boys, being the woman who always use to work things out in the family, and was a Psychology major in College. So, what is the best way I can help now, today, touching as many souls as I can?? Sounds like writing and sounds like yoga. I can't keep pushing my writing out the back door, as it is, and always has been a true love of mine! You should see the first journal I wrote in in like Junior High School, I still have it! It's so cute, it is pink and has a picture of a little girl with blonde hair on it, just like me. I only wrote a sentence or two at that time, like where we went and who I was with, but it called to me then.
I reached out for a house share and got a message from a young girl very interested. So, then I got right on Craigslist to look for a two room apartment, and found a few. I spoke with the girl and she seemed cool, and told her we should meet Saturday to talk. She sounded serious, and sounded like she truly needed a place, works near where I want to live as well. This could be great, a room mate, and I would have a place of my own, my own stuff again, my own space, not having to just rent a room from someone!! And the places I saw all had Dining Rooms, yay, as I love and miss my set!! The Dining Room table for me is LOVE, filled with love, loving times sharing together over food, over holidays, the things I appreciate and have memories of! To have more memories with my children, and loved ones, to be able to have others over my place, would be so nice, if they come!! So, I hope this works out with her, I hope to go see a few places soon as well.
I am waiting for my security deposit back from my old landlords, and that money will pay for some of the new place, and now need a job ASAP!! I am okay with that, not even a worry at all about it, just feeling overwhelmed by my choices to make money, but focusing on being where I should be and allowing the Universe to provide financially for me. In what ever way that may be. Teal Swan had a podcast or video about not limiting where the abundance will come from, as it doesn't always have to come from you. I don't have to be the only one contributing financially to my success, others can too. That is why I have a strong feeling my old boss will be able to help me out, like we met for us to work together, to form something to help empower all, especially the children!!
For now, I am going to get in the shower and visit my other best friend for life from childhood in Manahawkin, to the house on the lagoon. She invited me down for the day. It will be nice to be away for the day tomorrow, even though I feel I have so much to do, always feeling that way. But, I was working the entire day, it's now 5:15, I made phone calls, sent out letters, and did all I needed to do for weeks. I am happy for that and proud of myself, as I even reached out to try to sue my lender as I had a home that fell into foreclosure, and the banks made many illegal actions which have been proven to be true. Wow, wouldn't that be a dream, to be able to get some cash from that transaction? From how Chase stole money from so many of us, thank you Universe in advance for allowing this to happen to me now, in my life now, so I can feel the security of financial freedom and do things I have always wanted to go, and travel where I want as well, especially to see Teal, and be there at her Workshops!! When I was visiting her last year, going to five of the Workshops, my energy was so high, and life was changing fast, within myself. But, after my children moved out in November, and I have not been to see her or go to a workshop, it has been pretty tough, difficult, and very emotional. Staying connected with her, my soul family, is so important to my well being, it seems. I do know how to do things to lift my energy, like sound healings, kirtans, etc. but don't reach out to that as often as I should either.
Anyway, I have to go get ready so I can get out of here, and take that two hour ride to see my BFF!!
Love to all, love, light and freedom! Feel that safety the Universe has, if not, reach out to someone today, and every day you are low. This is something I still have to work on, reaching out when I am sad, not hibernating and staying in!!
Namaste!!
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