Becoming an Author!

It truly does help to stay connected to others when you feel your life is turning upside down.  It actually helps to ground you.  Grounding, big word for me, something I need to be aware of all day!  I have found myself remembering to deep breath in the car when I am feeling excited, nervous, stressed.  I think it is helping as I do feel calmer, and am more aware of and in touch with my feelings.  Being with my best two friends this week, friends I have known from childhood, has totally helped cradle me in love.  In feeling loved, knowing I am not here alone, knowing someone else loves me and cares.  And, especially knowing I am known, I am understood, totally and deeply understood by someone because they have known me for life.  For these friendships, I am honored, I am blessed, and it has truly given me the faith, strength, hope and courage to know I will be okay.  I will be better than okay, I will get through it, I am almost there!

I also expressed to her how I had an Angel Therapy session over five years ago, and she explained Archangel Gabriel was watching over me telling me to write!  To keep that journal and write a book, and then she asked me do you write.  Hell ya, I do!! And, the funny thing now is that woman is now a Hay House author and lives in my area.  She wrote her first book with Balboa Press, and then Hay House picked her book up to publish.  A coincidence?  I doubt it, more like synchronicity, a word I wasn't even aware of back then.  I do remember when I met her, Karen Noe, saying to myself, wow, she is an author, a person just like me, but has a book published.  If she could accomplish this, then so can I, as we are no different.  My dream has always been to become an author, I just never totally believe that I could.  But, now I am ready, so ready, and it is time.  I know it and feel it in my bones, so ready now to accomplish this.  Especially since the nanny job I had lined up fell through, I totally understood the Universe is pushing me to do more, no more being a nanny, living alone, and not being happy with the life I am leading.  No more just working like that to keep up, pay my bills, but still living being so unhappy.  Yes, I do love children, and enjoy that work, but it becomes very draining for me, and I know I have so much more to give.  I always have, it's just getting the courage, strength and faith to know I can do it.  Know I can succeed, as long as I do the work.  And, now is the perfect time as I do not have steady work now, and am going to move in with my brother for awhile until I create some financial abundance to get my own place.  It is as if the Universe has been shaking me up this last year, as I have lived in seven places already, and a year isn't even up yet.  How much more does the Universe have to shake me up to tell me what I am doing isn't working for me?  There is much more for me to do and give.  Well, now I finally get it and it is time.  Speaking with her made me so excited, it was as if I was high knowing my dream is going to come true.  I like to go with Teal Swan's sayings, like "Inown", and if you desire it, it is already done.  We are all given special gifts, people call it your life purpose, and this is definitely part of mine, and has been for years.  I am finally owning it, and putting it as my first priority for happiness and abundance, and not keep brushing it under the table, forgetting how much I love to write!An awesome thing happened to me today, and it started on the ride home yesterday from my girlfriends home down the shore.  I kept asking the Universe to send me the work I am here to do, always questioning what to focus on first, realizing once again my first true love is to write.  I love writing, always have, and having the body issues I have it is so much easier for me.  As much as I need to connect and want to live with someone, I have become such a homey, wanting to stay in and work, and getting out when I want to.  So, I asked the Universe for help, to show me how to accomplish publishing my book and becoming an author, and low and behold the employee from Balboa Press, who I have spoken to before called.  Wow, right then and there a huge smile came to my face, knowing the Universe was talking to me, what synchronicity.  Even though I was driving on the Parkway, I answered quickly knowing I should.  We spoke quickly, as I told her I was driving that I would call her back.  She said she would phone me the next day, and she did.  She also thanked me for answering her call!  She is very, very sweet, with a calm, kind voice, and a smile on her face.  

As we spoke for over an hour and a half, I was truly excited about becoming an author, and speaking with her made it all seem real, like it totally could happen!   She was so positive and focused on me and my dream of becoming an author.  The things she said were so true to me, language I use about creating what you want, abundance, becoming the author I have always dreamed of, making me feel and believe it can happen!  When I told her I knew Teal Swan, she expressed imagine being a colleague, an author just like her with the same Publishing Company.  How real it felt, how accessible it felt, how true to me at the time to do this, what I have been wanting to do for years upon years.  
                   
I have been keeping a journal regularly since I have been 18 years old, I even remember taking my first journal to the park to write about the sadness and pain I was feeling at the time.  Writing always seemed to take it away for me, releasing, letting go, and feeling better afterwards.  After my divorce I wrote so much, and wanted to turn those journals into a book, but each time I went back to my journals to write, it was too sad, too sad for me to put it together and type it out on the computer, so I kept putting it aside.  
Then, in the fall of 2013, on my quest for self love due to my daughters talking about moving out, I decided instead of writing all in my journal, I decided to blog.  Everyone who loved to write was blogging, and I figure this way half the work would be done, it would all be written down on my blogs.  And, now it is time to put it all together and get it done!  
Amazing this could be. Love and light.