New Years Day

Happy New Year
It is New Years Day, also my best friends birthday.  I have known her since I have been five years old, and she is one of my most dearest friends, always being there for me when I need someone to cry on!  She went out to dinner with her family, and invited me along.  This is the friend who's brother was just struggling for his life in the hospital, so it was wonderful to see them all.  I had a really wonderful time, as I have known her family my entire life, and feel a part of them.
Tonight is also my last night in this house, not my house, not my home, my brothers home, where I have felt very unwanted.  He doesn't ever even talk to me, barely saying hello, how are you?  Well, he never asks how I am, and says hello because I do first.  It is really strange to see him friendly and nice to others, but not to me, his own sister.  I guess I am a trigger to him about our childhood, but all I know is it has been a terrible, lonely experience living here, and I can not wait to leave, and never come back!  I am so excited to "go home"!  Home is North Jersey to me, and has been a long time.  And I am living with a friend, well she wasn't a friend a few days ago, but she is now.  A beautiful friend, who is kind, loving, and deep and spiritual like me!  She has plants, candles, incense and the like, and she wants me in her home.  She has told me she wants me to feel at home here, and I already do!  Here we go, another serious life change, but I know this one will bring more joy to my heart than to where I am now.  I will have the opportunity to feel safe, wanted and loved, and will be able to create much more there, than I can here.
My one daughter and son came down to help me.  I am in too  much pain to move anything myself.  I did not have to pick up one thing, they carried it all out for me, and I found homes once again for my things.  All packed and in our cars, ready to leave this piece behind.  Again,  moving on, moving ahead in my travels, trying to "figure it all out", and be where I am suppose to be.  I know this is all temporary, I have comfort and love in my heart, knowing that this is going to be the year of success for me, and many of my soul family.  Good bye to this place, my brothers home that I never felt "at home" in.  So many feelings, so many life changes for me.  If all of our sadness is from triggers from the past, I have many, too many to handle.  So many things make me cry, I could go on and on.  I thought living here with my brother would bond us, I thought I could cook for him and he would enjoy my company.  But, that is not how it all happened, and I am sad for that.  He is hiding behind himself, hiding his childhood pain, and probably doesn't even realize it, as I did not either.  I am sad we couldn't connect, I love him and wish him well.
We got to my new place finally, and the kids unloaded my things, and left for me to handle!  I didn't expect them too, but there is a lot to put away, and the room is so small it is hard to do that with a mess on my hands.  Oh well, at least I am home, home back up North!
And now, I have to manifest a new place to live, my own place with a living room and dining room to put my things, my stuff, my furniture in!  It's crazy how you feel lost without your things!!
Happy New Year to all, and Loving Blessings Always!!