Still Suffering in Pain, Why?

Namaste to all
It is Saturday, after Thanksgiving, and I am still here in bed alone in pain.  Yesterday, black Friday when everyone is out shopping having fun, or not fighting the crowds, I was in all day, in bad pain still.  I couldn't lay in bed all day, not being in my own "home", so I did some computer stuff, listened to some Teal videos, and rested in between.  Teal even had a new video that spoke about the pain in our bodies, how to identify where the pain is coming from, because she feels it is always emotional, always old emotional stuff.  Its crazy that she always seems to be "talking" to me, through her videos and blogs, things I need to hear exactly at that time.  She is so aware and connected to all of us, always seeming to know how much we are suffering.  She must have heard my cries, because I have been crying out to her for help, and then it came from her through her Podcast.  I am so grateful and thankful for her words, her knowledge, and her compassion for the humans here on earth to help us out of our suffering!  She explained how the pain in our body does come from our emotions, always.  So, to go into that pain and figure out what it is about.  She explained how neck pain is related to resentment, so I need to go inside and figure out where that is coming from.  My stomach has been hurting for days as well, so I have a lot of work to do, going back to the past to find out where it is from.  The problem for me is usually I see the same memories, new ones do not come up.  But, if I have been back there and healed my inner child from that time, I am wondering why I tend to see the same visions.  I will set some time aside to work on this, but not today.
I could not lay in bed and rest like I usually do, that made me too depressed, thinking about everything I am upset about.  I am especially upset about my finances, not having any income coming in at the moment, and trying to figure out how.  I do have a lot I love to do, it's just getting it all in the works, and that is the hard part.  I have written some children's books I need illustrated, I started my book on my Journey to Self Love, I am a Reiki Practitioner, and an Angel and Oracle Card Reader, a Young Living Oil distributor, a children's yoga instructor, and a Donna Eden Energy Instructor, and would love to find an abundance of financial wealth in any of these areas.  But, like I said, it's about getting any of them started, and that is where I get stuck and need help.  So, I have asked the Universe and my Guides to help send me opportunities to use my talents, and follow my life purpose, but I can't seem to do it alone.  I have always in the past had many dreams, but for them to come to completion has not happened yet.  I have wanted to write a book since I can imagine, and will have it published someday.
Today I need to get out of the house, being in all day yesterday in pain was truly depressing.  It made me cry about everything, especially about having to live without my children and missing them so much.  I want to live near them so I can just stop by here in there quickly, not always having to plan a day and stay for hours.  I know now is not the time to make serious decisions, so I will wait and see how I feel when my pain has subsided.  I have errands to run, and want to get to my brothers to get my plants from his garage so they don't die.  They have been calling me to get them, so I will.  I was worried my brother here wouldn't want them, but I need them around me now.  They comfort me and give me energy, and that is nourishing to me now.  The problem is I am still in so much pain and don't want to do anything, and I am sad during this Thanksgiving break that I am inside in so much pain!
I pretty much hate life right now, hate everything I have done, and hate being alone without my children.  What is the point of life anymore and to live?  I truly don't see too much point in it right now, can't seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I have felt so sad, so sad I don't even want to write.
I am going to get in the tub now, and don't even want to.  To try to start my day and get outside, for I don't even know what.  I want my family back, my husband, my children, my home, my family unit, my security, my safe place to be.  We take so much for granted, especially our families.  Look at what I had and lost, I ruined my children's lives by our divorce, and broke my heart and my husbands heart along the way.  I am not happy at all.
Namaste